I wish I had a twin, so I could know what I'd look like without plastic surgery. — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
I am definitely going to watch the Emmys this year! My makeup team is nominated for “Best Special Effects.” — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
A woman went to a plastic surgeon and asked him to make her like Bo Derek. He gave her a lobotomy. — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
[When told that her grandchild had her nose:] I didn't get this nose until I was thirty-four. — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
With age comes wisdom. You don't need big boobs to be feminine. Look at Liberace. — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
I saw what's going on under my chin. I don't want to be the one the President has to pardon on Thanksgiving. — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
I've had so much plastic surgery, when I die they will donate my body to Tupperware. — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
With plastic surgery, the general anesthetic is like a black-velvety sleep, and that's what death is - without waking up to someone… — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
Joan Collins told a reporter that she hasn't had plastic surgery; come on... she's had more tucks than a motel bedsheet! — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
[On plastic surgery:] My motto is: 'Anything that can be lifted should be lifted. Anything that falls should be caught. And try… — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
Because I'm the only performer who comes out and says I've had plastic surgery, I've become the plastic surgery poster girl, which… — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
I had a friend who was a plastic surgeon, so he would do little things. I never had, like, a full thing.… — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
The only way I can get a man to touch me at this age is plastic surgery. — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
I didn't want to do 'Fashion Police' because I thought, 'This is stupid, this is beneath me, who wants to talk about fashion?' It… — Joan Rivers Copy Share
I was getting dressed and a peeping tom looked in the window, took a look and pulled down the shade. — Joan Rivers Copy Share
All my way through college, I worked my way as a window dresser for Lord & Taylor, so I always liked fashion. I always… — Joan Rivers Copy Share
Everyone thinks Angelina Jolie was the first celebrity baby hoarder, but she wasn't. Before Angelina there was Mia Farrow. Mia had an entire farm… — Joan Rivers Copy Share
I have no sex appeal, which kills me. The only way I can ever hear heavy breathing from my husband's side of the bed… — Joan Rivers Copy Share
If you hate something, you hate it, and if you like something or somebody, you like it, but tell the truth. And most celebrities… — Joan Rivers Copy Share
I know now that everybody in the arts is forever a beginner. Experience counts for a great deal and very little. Every night onstage… — Joan Rivers Copy Share
My breasts are so low now I can have a mammogram and a pedicure at the same time. — Joan Rivers Copy Share
I love Vines. You make this 6.4-second drama, and you can reach 6 million viewer, and make people laugh. I find it so fabulous. — Joan Rivers Copy Share
Grandchildren can be annoying - how many times can you go: "And the cow goes moo and the pig goes oink"? It's like talking… — Joan Rivers Copy Share
![“[When told that her grandchild had her nose:] I didn't get this nose until I was thirty-four.” quote by Joan Rivers](https://sms4smile.com/q/img-quotes/e37/joan-rivers-669_four_when-told-that-her-grandchild-had-her-no_2299385.png)
![“[On plastic surgery:] My motto is: 'Anything that can be lifted should be lifted. Anything that falls should be caught. And try to catch any falling stuff before it hits the ground.” quote by Joan Rivers](https://sms4smile.com/q/img-quotes/be7/joan-rivers-669_caught_on-plastic-surgery-my-motto-is-anything_143416.png)
