“Excessive masturbation is a sign that you are routinely in a high electromagnetic interference (EMI) environment.” — Steven Magee Copy Share Image
“You cannot blame porn. When I was young, I used to masturbate to Gilligan's Island.” — Ron Jeremy Copy Share Image
Masturbation is like procrastination, it's all good and fun until you realize you are only fucking yourself. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
What I like about masturbation is that you don't have to talk afterwards. — Milos Forman Copy Share Image
When the sex war is won prostitutes should be shot as collaborators for their terrible betrayal of all women. — Julie Burchill Copy Share Image
“At the end of the day, I was still a virgin, all alone in a dark room, humping a lubed-up robot.” — Ernest Cline Copy Share Image
Philosophy stands in the same relation to the study of the actual world as masturbation to sexual love. — Karl Marx Copy Share Image
Intercourse with a woman is sometimes a satisfactory substitute for masturbation. But it takes a lot of imagination to make it work. — Karl Kraus Copy Share Image
“And now Kit’s cock—which had mostly been used for taking a leak before that moment—woke up and screamed I WANT! FEED ME… — Amy Lane Copy Share Image
“Writing is a lonely pursuit. The only thing working is imagination and hands. The only difference between writing and masturbation is one… — Mark Bell Copy Share Image
In the early days all I hoped was to make a living out of what I did best. But, since there's no… — Les Claypool Copy Share Image
Somewhere, there's someone who's masturbation ritual ends with them setting up ventriloquist dummies facing the bed. I mean, someone else. — Dana Gould Copy Share Image
Instead of being a well-known painter, I became everybody's favorite dirty joke. Come to think of it, teaching masturbation skills is pretty… — Betty Dodson Copy Share Image
Masturbation is not only an expression of self-regard: it is also the natural emotional outlet of those who...have already accepted as inevitable… — Quentin Crisp Copy Share Image
Masturbation is a meditation on self-love. So many of us are afflicted with self-loathing, bad body images, shame about our body functions,… — Betty Dodson Copy Share Image
I also believe in cigarettes, cholesterol, alcohol, carbon monoxide, masturbation, the Arts Council, nuclear weapons, the Daily Telegraph, and not properly labeling… — Dennis Potter Copy Share Image
So often, over the course of our day-to-days, we forget the details of what shapes us most in life. Sure, we'll pay… — Kevin Smith Copy Share Image
“Pornography, in my opinion, has been much misunderstood, for it doesn't develop sex fiends and send them roaming alleyways - it is… — Truman Capote Copy Share Image
We can learn to ignore the bullshit in the Bible about gay people. The same way we have learned to ignore the… — Dan Savage Copy Share Image
“Whether you studied sexology or not, nobody will teach you how to screw, nobody will point to your vagina and say, hey… — Michael Bassey Johnson Copy Share Image
Removed from its more restrictive sense, masturbation has become an expression for everything that has proved, for lack of human contact, to… — Gunter Grass Copy Share Image
Admittedly, the masturbation story is just a "Hey, this is one of my best-of's, I'll throw it in the special." But the… — Jen Kirkman Copy Share Image
Art is the process of evoking pity and terror, which is not abstract at all but very human. What the self-styled modern… — Robert A. Heinlein Copy Share Image
“Procrastination is like masturbation: it's fun for awhile, but in the end, you're only screwing yourself.” — Lauren Kunze Copy Share Image
You just sit home and masturbate. The phone is going to ring soon, but you just can't wait. — Billy Joel Copy Share Image
“Masturbation is pleasure without cost. So how might you make people pay?” — Christopher S. Hyatt Copy Share Image
“En ting er fagkyndig analyse, en annen ting kvaksalveranalyse og onaniterapi.” — Harald Schjelderup Copy Share Image
But it was I, yes I, who discovered the link between excessive masturbation and entry into politics! — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
