You can't control life. It doesn't wind up perfectly. Only-only art you can control. Art and masturbation. Two areas in which I… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
The difference between sex and death is, death you can do alone and nobody laughs at you. — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
Bisexuality doubles your chances of a date on a Saturday night. I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people.… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
But it was I, yes I, who discovered the link between excessive masturbation and entry into politics! — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
“True, science has conquered many diseases, broken the genetic code, and even placed human beings on the moon, and yet when a man of… — Woody Allen Copy Share
In every generation there are a few people who are authentically funny. The cosmetics change. You may not be able to articulate it, and… — Woody Allen Copy Share
I think Frank Capra was a much craftier filmmaker, a wonderful filmmaker. He had enormous technique, and he knew how to manipulate the public… — Woody Allen Copy Share
Gauguin flew into a frenzy! He held my head under the X-ray machine for ten straight minutes and for several hours after I could… — Woody Allen Copy Share
I enjoy the making of the film and it's something for me to do. If nobody ever comes to my films, if people don't… — Woody Allen Copy Share
Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage. — Woody Allen Copy Share
A stockbroker is someone who invests other people's money until it is all gone. — Woody Allen Copy Share
There are two important things in the world, the first is sex. The other isn't all that important. — Woody Allen Copy Share
