The last time I was inside a woman was when I went to the Statue of Liberty. — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
The audience goes to sleep really quickly! If you have a slight pause at the wrong time, that's it! — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
Most of the time I don't have much fun. The rest of the time I don't have any fun at all. — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
In order to be successful, all you've got to do is show up 80 percent of the time. — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
We are all interested in the future, for that is where you and I are going to spend the rest of our… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
My mother never had time for me. When you're the middle child in a family of five million, you don't get any… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
I work all the time because it's a great distraction and it keeps me from sitting home and obsessing morbidly. — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
The content dictates the style all the time. That's the way it is. If the content of the film - as in… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
“UFOs are back in the news, and it is high time we took a serious look at the phenomenon. (Actually the time… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
You always think another time would have been ideal for you . . . the reality is there was no novocaine when… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
Some of the best memories of my childhood that I have are the times that I played hooky from school so I… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
People ask me whether I think that one day I might wake up one morning and run dry, but I've had the… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
I spend a lot of time idly. I go to sporting events, play my clarinet. I practise. But if you work every… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
Life is unresolved, confusing, bewildering, puzzling, ambiguous. You don't really know what's going to happen. The future is uncertain for everybody. — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
Some people think about sex all the time; some people think of sex some of the time; and some people never think… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
I would not like to live in the past because you don't get anesthetic when you go to the dentist. You don't… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
More than at any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other,… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
Real life is generally much duller and inevitably sadder, most of the time. In film, you control everything that's going on, so… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
In perpetrating a revolution, there are two requirements: someone or something to revolt against and someone to actually show up and do… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
My films are misinterpreted all the time. I don't mind that. Everybody's films are misinterpreted. But there's no malice or stupidity in… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
It's a wonderful thing to be able to create your own world whenever you want to. Writing is very pleasurable, very seductive,… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
The movie is usually, for me, something organic that grows all the time. I sit home and write it, and I'm in… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
Fantasy is seductive and much more wonderful than reality, but you can't take it to the bank. It's always an escape. And… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
There have been times when I've thought about it - but with my luck it would probably turn out to be only… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
My love life is terrible. The last time I was inside a woman was when I visited the Statue of Liberty. — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
“The only time that my wife and I had a simultaneous orgasm was when the judge signed the divorce papers.” — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
There's no rhyme or reason to anything that I do. It's whatever seems right at the time. — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
Sometimes some of the best moments are contributed by the actors being creative, with their own improvisations. — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
I've always had an easy time directing actors because I always hire ones that are great before I get my hands on… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
The last time I was inside a woman was when I was inside the Statue of Liberty. — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
The study of economy usually shows us that the best time for purchase was last year. — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
Everyone wants to get out of living where they're living now, because life is a pretty tough proposition and not much fun.… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
I did not marry the first girl that I fell in love with, because there was a tremendous religious conflict, at the… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
What I do know about physics is that to a man standing on the shore, time passes quicker than to a man… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
One of the wonderful things about making a film of any genre is that you have dialogue. You can take up a… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
I don't why whatever works and whatever doesn't. You just make the film that you enjoy making at the time, and you… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
“True, science has conquered many diseases, broken the genetic code, and even placed human beings on the moon, and yet when a man of… — Woody Allen Copy Share
In every generation there are a few people who are authentically funny. The cosmetics change. You may not be able to articulate it, and… — Woody Allen Copy Share
I think Frank Capra was a much craftier filmmaker, a wonderful filmmaker. He had enormous technique, and he knew how to manipulate the public… — Woody Allen Copy Share
Gauguin flew into a frenzy! He held my head under the X-ray machine for ten straight minutes and for several hours after I could… — Woody Allen Copy Share
I enjoy the making of the film and it's something for me to do. If nobody ever comes to my films, if people don't… — Woody Allen Copy Share
Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage. — Woody Allen Copy Share
A stockbroker is someone who invests other people's money until it is all gone. — Woody Allen Copy Share
There are two important things in the world, the first is sex. The other isn't all that important. — Woody Allen Copy Share
