Skip to content

Love Quotes by Woody Allen

67 Love quotes by Woody Allen

All Love quotes Woody Allen’s page

Woody Allen notes that inertia holds up most marriages while love fills the missing piece. He jokes that the best ideas stay in our heads, that anxiety can visit like a bluebird, and that love can both ease tension and create it, making relationships a strange mix of comfort and conflict.

Rate this collection: ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet

I hope you're getting this down.

Image

Showing up is 80 percent of life.

Image

I don't know enough to be incompetent.

Image

Sex relieves tension - love causes it.

Image

Me and nature are two.

Image

Chastity is curable, if detected early.

Image

Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it.

Image

The last time I was inside a woman was when I went to the Statue of Liberty.

Image

It's a match made in heaven...by a retarded angel.

Image

“The difference between sex and love is that sex relieves tension and love causes it.”

Image

Just because youre paranoid doesnt mean they arent out to get you

Image

Inertia accounts for two-thirds of marriages. But love accounts for the other third.

Image

Was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox.

Image

If you don't fail now and again, it's a sign you're playing it safe.

Image

There are worse things than death. Many of them playing at a theater near you.

Image

For some reason I've always had an irrational love for New York. There's no reason that you would necessarily like it on…

Image

To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Therefore, to love…

Image

What was the scandal? I fell in love with this girl, married her. We have been married for almost 15 years now.

Image

No matter what the shrinks, or the pundits, or the self-help books tell you, when it comes to love, it's luck.

Image

Men learn to love the woman they are attracted to. Women learn to become attracted to the man they fall in love…

Image

We are all interested in the future, for that is where you and I are going to spend the rest of our…

Image

When we lose twenty pounds... we may be losing the twenty best pounds we have! We may be losing the pounds that…

Image

I did not marry the first girl that I fell in love with, because there was a tremendous religious conflict, at the…

Image

Is it better to be the lover or the loved one? Neither, if your cholesterol is over six hundred. By love, of…

Image

You're still in love' 'No I'm not, I'm not She'll always be a part of me, and she's an important person in…

Image

Men would make love with any number of women ... even total strangers, while females were selective. They were catering to the…

Image

Film is more of novelty, because I've done so much theater over many years. I'm in love with making movies. Also, I…

Image

You can be distracted by your love life, by the baseball game, movies, by the nonsense. "Can I get my kid into…

Image

“To be loved, certainly, is different from being admired, as one can be admired from afar but to really love someone it…

Image

Regarding love what can you say? It's not the quantity of your sexual relations that counts. It's the quality. On the other…

Image

“David: And you think it can just evaporate? Even if at one time they loved one another? Marx: That's one of the…

Image

Bisexuality doubles your chances of a date on a Saturday night. I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people.…

Image

“It was great seeing Annie again. I realised what a terrific person she was and how fun it was just knowing her.…

Image

You will notice that what we are aiming at when we fall in love is a very strange paradox. The paradox consists…

Image

To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Therefore, to love…

Image

“All men fear death. It’s a natural fear that consumes us all. We fear death because we feel that we haven’t loved…

Image

I love nature, I just don't want to get any of it on me.

Image

You use sex to express every emotion except love.

Image

My wife and I thought we were in love, but it turned out to be benign

Image

Whosoever loveth wisdom is righteous, but he that keepeth company with fowl is weird.

Image

Other authors on Love

More by Woody Allen

“True, science has conquered many diseases, broken the genetic code, and even placed human beings on the moon, and yet when a man of…

Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.

In every generation there are a few people who are authentically funny. The cosmetics change. You may not be able to articulate it, and…

I think Frank Capra was a much craftier filmmaker, a wonderful filmmaker. He had enormous technique, and he knew how to manipulate the public…

The food here is terrible, and the portions are too small.

Gauguin flew into a frenzy! He held my head under the X-ray machine for ten straight minutes and for several hours after I could…

What has gotten into you lately? Save a little craziness for menopause!

I enjoy the making of the film and it's something for me to do. If nobody ever comes to my films, if people don't…

Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage.

A stockbroker is someone who invests other people's money until it is all gone.

Man cannot live by bread alone. Every once in awhile he needs a salad.

All literature is a footnote to Faust. I have no idea what I mean by that.

There are two important things in the world, the first is sex. The other isn't all that important.

You can't ride two horses with one behind.

Is old age really so terrible? Not if you've brushed your teeth faithfully.