Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all. — Henny Youngman Copy Share Image
We were married for better or worse. I couldn't have done better, and she couldn't have done worse. — Henny Youngman Copy Share Image
My wife lost all her credit cards, but I'm not going to report it. Whoever found them spends less than she does! — Henny Youngman Copy Share Image
I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me. — Henny Youngman Copy Share Image
A man goes to a psychiatrist. "Nobody listens to me!" The doctor says, "Next!" — Henny Youngman Copy Share
My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first time he saluted, he killed himself. — Henny Youngman Copy Share
A car hit a Jewish man. The paramedic says, "Are you comfortable?" The man says, "I make a good living." — Henny Youngman Copy Share
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once... You know what I did before I married? Anything I… — Henny Youngman Copy Share
Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport. — Henny Youngman Copy Share
If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late. — Henny Youngman Copy Share
Psychiatrists say that 1 of 4 people are mentally ill. Check 3 friends. If they are okay, you're it. — Henny Youngman Copy Share
