“There’s no way I’m only meant to be a mom and wife. There’s got to be more in store for me, right?” — Bree Penfold Copy Share Image
“You're more mean-spirited than I remember you being." "It's this organic body. Hologram fur wasn't itchy.” — Howard Tayler Copy Share Image
“Am I gay, am I straight? No, I'm just slutty. So, where's my parade? What about slut pride.” — Margaret Cho Copy Share Image
Parents: you do realize one day you will have to pay for all your own things me: yes but today is not… — Rajat Dogra Copy Share Image
Humour plays close to the big, hot fire, which is the truth, and the reader feels the heat. — E. B. White Copy Share Image
“Something tells me we're not in Kansas anymore" "You did not just say that” — Morgan Matson Copy Share Image
“JOIN THE CIRCUS OF CHAOS ... juggling, stilt walking, and other skills for socially acceptable procrastination.” — Pat Murphy Copy Share Image
“When I turn back to Jase, he’s again beaming at me. “You’re nice.” He sounds pleased, as if he hadn’t expected this… — Huntley Fitzpatrick Copy Share Image
“He had done regular live concerts from San Quentin jail until the civil rights people got him under the Cruel and Unusual… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“To imagine that I was pleased would have been an understatement, if I was a dog, my tail would be wagging my… — Gary Edward Gedall Copy Share Image
It's Funny But 90 Percent Of People At Some Point In Their Life Have Tried To Close The Fridge Slowly To See… — Pacifiersucker Copy Share Image
“That Damon Matthews,” Linda spat. “You know, take one letter out of his name and it spells ‘ damn’ as in ‘damn,… — Kristen Ashley Copy Share Image
“Ozzy's cage is now sparkling but there is a problem. It seems that if you put vast quantities of sawdust down a… — J.A. Buckle Copy Share Image
“If you can put this book down, it means you need more coffee and less sleep. After all, sleep is for the… — Leviak B. Kelly Copy Share Image
“Great big bugger,' said Aziraphale. 'Sleepeth beneath the thunders of the upper deep. Under loads of huge and unnumbered polypol - polipo… — Terry Pratchett Neil Gaiman Copy Share Image
“I stared in awe at the Lincoln Memorial. If Honest Abe had come to life and somehow managed to lift his bony… — Paul Beatty Copy Share Image
“My greatest strength is an unfocused mind. This is because while you are all thinking of one idea, I’m thinking of five… — Ben Mitchell Copy Share Image
The English have a special sense of humour. This I immediately experienced in the dressing room. As I walked with two plates… — Bastian Schweinsteiger Copy Share Image
How truly does this journal contain my real and undisguised thoughts--I always write it according to the humour I am in, and… — Fanny Burney Copy Share Image
“Shall we proceed, and ought I do so with my knife drawn?” “You’d better keep it where it is for the moment,”… — Loretta Chase Copy Share Image
“And don't succumb too much to the spell of these cases. I have seen many other fragments of the cross, in other… — Umberto Eco Copy Share Image
“Gracious ignored him. "A farmer's daughter, she was, though back then every girl was a farmer's daughter. Or a farmer. She had… — Derek Landy Copy Share Image
“Other married people have lived together and hated each other. Why shouldn't we? We may forget even to hate.” — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Every single person is a fool, insane, a failure, or a bad person to at least ten people.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
“One of the main functions of a push-up bra is to lower the number of mothers who seem like mothers.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
“A sturdy hold, but I think there's something up with the material.” — Pete Sortwell Copy Share Image
“Fat people are funny … until obesity pays your loved one a visit.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
“He who is jealous is better off not dating someone who is bisexual.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
“Momentarily forgetting how wind works, Lex tried spitting at him. This failed” — Gina Damico Copy Share Image
Humour is ahead of everything creatively. I think if things aren't humorous, they are just crap. — Roisin Murphy Copy Share Image
“Thought for the day: Twitter...140 character limit...must be a great tool for fortune cookie writers...” — E.A. Bucchianeri Copy Share Image
“It's not gambling to play against someone who's no good. It's common sense.” — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
Humour is used in struggle and solving difficult things, and I relish that tradition. — Debra Granik Copy Share Image
“You’re mad, bonkers, completely off your head. But I’ll tell you a secret. All the best people are.” — Lewis Carroll Copy Share Image
