Those girls who claim they'll "never be a crazy girlfriend," get a serious boyfriend, then just wait and see. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I miss you. not as a my boyfriend or girlfriend , not even as my friends. I miss the person who you… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
My ex-girlfriend had a really weird fetish. She used to like to dress up as herself and then act like a f*ckin'… — Bo Burnham Copy Share Image
It's cute that a boy tries to tie the girls hair eventhough its really clear that he doesn't know how to... — Leanne Copy Share Image
I have a girlfriend who talks like that all the time. Who constantly complain about their periods and plumbing and stuff. — Carrie Fisher Copy Share Image
I'm hard work to live with. Someone who wants to be my girlfriend has to be totally devoted because I don't give… — Tricky Copy Share Image
Don't leave a piece of jewelry at his house so you can go back and get it later; he may be with… — Amy Sedaris Copy Share Image
A true man wouldn't make his girlfriend jealous,instead, he would make the other girls jealous of her. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“It's amazing how people can sound like retards when they're talking to their girlfriend, especially if they really love her a lot.… — Etgar Keret Copy Share Image
“If you're going to be a musician's girlfriend, you have to know that your man will always love his bandmates in a… — Julie Klausner Copy Share Image
I thought I'd be a low-key producer or something, politics and film at the same time. But also, I'm not a big… — Michael Tubbs Copy Share Image
“Do you have a girlfriend?" I blurt out. Holy crap--I just said that out loud? His lips quirk up in a half-smile,… — E.L. James Copy Share Image
“My girlfriend would tell me she was flying out of town to a pop concert with her friends for the weekend. She… — Steven Magee Copy Share Image
Noo. I'm not jealous of your new girlfriend. Because she's dating a selfish unfaithful assshole that once was mine but without giving… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
In a relationship,guys complain, If my girlfriend wants me to get something in particular for her birthday Why doesn't she tell me… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If I'm in a relationship and my girlfriend is sleeping with other people, I don't need to know who it is; I… — Ben Folds Copy Share Image
I'm having to do a lot to keep my clothes on and not be cast in girlfriend roles. Some women will say,… — Angelina Jolie Copy Share Image
Little white lies are part of everyday life. If youre in court being charged with a felony, youre probably going to be… — Monica Raymund Copy Share Image
You know, if I look at an auditorium full of high school students and the big man on campus and his girlfriend… — Seth Godin Copy Share Image
Guys! While your'e BUSY ignoring your lady, another guy is TRYING really hard to get her attention. While your'e too busy for… — London Mond Copy Share Image
I think there's something about supernatural shows that people see and just want to put me in them! I don't know. I… — Colton Haynes Copy Share Image
Besides, I’m not looking to get saved. I’m only going with her because it’s what you do when you’re in a relationship.… — Tim Tharp Copy Share Image
“When I was in junior high, I used to think I would turn out to be one of the guys, and boys… — Curtis Sittenfeld Copy Share Image
“You’re right. The fact that the entire party of fifty guests caught you and Jill Moench kissing in the closet was a… — Katlyn Charlesworth Copy Share Image
Dear Future Girlfriend, If I sacrifice sleep just to talk to you, you mean a lot more to me than you think — Crapp Copy Share Image
Dear boys, you should not make your girlfriend jealous of other girls instead you should make other girls jealous of your girlfriend! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Reasons why I never let my girlfriend touch my iPhone. 1) I don't have iPhone. 2) I don't have a girlfriend. — Kapil Choudhary Copy Share Image
You might be a redneck if somebody hollers ho-down and your girlfriend hits the floor. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
My girlfriend asked me to make her feel special...so I gave her a helmet and crayons. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If you don't text first, we won't talk - my only rule with my imaginary girlfriend — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Like to tell my girlfriend Great job on those tits before she leaves for work. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Because I have a girlfriend, I try and take the straight and narrow path, which is good because it prevents VD. — Joe Rogan Copy Share Image
Happiness is watching the TV at your girlfriend's house during a power failure. — Bob Hope Copy Share Image
Music is my girlfriend, pretty much. It's makes it a little difficult, but I'm always looking, looking for the right girl. — Shwayze Copy Share Image
“She wasn't his girlfriend. She was his bubblegum girl--only fun until she lost her flavor.” — Jenny Rosen Copy Share Image
Not every problem someone has with his girlfriend is necessarily due to the capitalist mode of production. — Herbert Marcuse Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when your girlfriend smoke weed and looks like zombie like WTF!!! — Syntific Copy Share Image
Apparently, the answer 'I know.' is not a good answer when your friend tells you how awesome his girlfriend is in bed. — Ashley Copy Share Image
Many fathers go their entire lives without announcing how sexy their son's old girlfriends are. — Mallory Ortberg Copy Share Image
If I have a girlfriend, I don’t bring her to flaunt her. She doesn’t get to reap the benefits of me being… — Nick Diaz Copy Share Image
