Facebook status Quotes · Page 37

Ah, beer. The cause of and the solution to all of life's problems.

— Nikhil Saluja

Don't be much closer to anybody because a small change in their behavior hurts a lot.

— Faira Here

Cool things always happen when I don't have a camera.

— Anonymous

I hate it when a shower only has two options; 3rd degree burns or skinny dipping in Antarctica.

— Anonymous

You know you've drank too much when you actually ask your wife to drive you home.

— Nikhil Saluja

How about this, you remove Funny/Model from your bio and let me be the judge of that.

— Nikhil Saluja

She wanted to sign up as an organ donor, but all she had was a guitar.

— Nikhil Saluja

I hate it when you send a long text message to someone & they just reply with k.

— Anonymous

When you thought I wasn't looking I looked at you and wanted to say,'Thanks for all the things I saw when you…

— Nikhil Saluja

When I get bored I put Facebook into a translator, just to see if everyone's statuses still sound dumb as **** in…

— Nathan Schwake

Its bEtTer tO Let sOmEonE freE tO mAkE OthEr pEopLe hAppy, thAn tryInG yOursELf hOLdInG thAt pErsOn tIghtLy And hUrtInG dEepLy . :-(

— Anonymous

If life was easy it wouldn't be worth living, that is why we have obstacles we over come and friends to help…

— Kimiko Martinez

To make it stand, you wet it. To make it wet, you suck it. To make it stiff, you lick it. To…

— Nikhil Saluja

Actual warning printed on the bottom of a package of Tesco's Tiramisu dessert : Do not turn upside down.

— Nikhil Saluja

Staying up late every night... Regretting it every morning... then doing it all over again!! Just me..?

— Tanya Bianco

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw tears come from your eyes, and I learned that sometimes things hurt, but it's…

— Nikhil Saluja

Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together, Never give up on hope

— Abhishek Tiwari

I like to accomplish things before the microwave beeps.

— Brandi Isaacs

Admit it, you have that one voice that you only use on animals and babies.

— Anonymous

A detective on the drug detail developed seizures. He is a narcoleptic.

— Nikhil Saluja

I have a computer, a vibrator, & pizza delivery. Why should I leave the house?

— Nikhil Saluja

We learn little from our succeses, but a lot from our failures.

— Enhance Dreams

I hate when people dont watch where Im going when Im walking and texting.

— Azgraybebly Joslan

Men hate women because we always know where things are.

— Anonymous

I think I can be a rapper, I'm good at rhymes.. cat, bat, fat, hat, chat…

— Anonymous

You dont get to choose when or who you meet, but you do get to choose who you hold on to.

— Punkinhead Abhishek

Yawning is like our bodies way of saying 15% battery left.

— Anonymous

Girls now a days be almost as THIRSTY as some of the guys..

— Anonymous

I'll drink responsibly when there is a brand of vodka named Responsibly.

— Anonymous

Ending a facebook conversation by liking the last comment that was posted.

— Anonymous

Im in the backyard painting a big blue square so google earth thinks I have a swimming pool.

— Anonymous

Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you need to keep moving.

— Anonymous

I am so smart, I am so smart, S M R T, I mean S M A R T.

— Nikhil Saluja

LIKE if you have a specific way of eating certain foods.

— Kand3n

My trust is not a mile long, its as long as our relationship

— Kenzie-ann

Uh, excuse me, Mr. Swagger, Either walk a little faster or buy a belt. Thanks, homie.

— Anonymous

Waking up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom and avoiding all of the mirrors.

— Anonymous

Who else wakes up in the morning and checks their Facebook like its the morning paper?

— Anonymous

Three Things to Control... Tounge, Temper and Temptation.

— Nikhil Saluja

Facebook is kind of like the matrix if you think about it... fake reality.

— Anonymous