Lightning sometimes shocks people because it just doesn't know how to conduct itself. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
America hasn't seen lazy yet, wait until McDonalds start delivering. — Jaylon Hillsman Copy Share Image
As the auto mechanic said to the Scoutmaster whose car horn was broken, Beep repaired. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
DO NOT expect a 'Bless You' after your 5th sneeze get that shit under fucking control. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I must have missed school the day we learned about Abraham Lincoln being a vampire slayer... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when your phone goes dead in the middle of a interesting conversation... — Lonniedagreat Copy Share Image
Around Parents: Normal Mode, on. Around friends: Silly Mode, on. Around Babies: Barney Mode, on. Around Crush: Retard Mode, on. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
It's only happy hour if a hot girl is sharing your drinks. Otherwise it's just drowning your misery. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I've been banging my head against this wall for hours trying to figure out where all this blood is coming from! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
There should be a Dislike button, on Facebook Because most of the status I see on Facebook are really creepy. Which makes… — Sexy Boy Copy Share Image
No matter how old I get, I'm still gonna mentally sing the ABC's to see which letter comes next. — Carlos Banks Copy Share Image
It's raining outside. I should go update and alert all my friends on Facebook who don't own a window. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The son of a bitch moment when you're walking around the house in socks and you step on a wet spot. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Dear Facebook, thanks for reminding me why moving away from my hometown was the best decision ever. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Me: I'm finally happy. Life: Oh damn, that can't happen. Let me throw something bad in. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Practicing your signature over & over again, just in case one day you become famous. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
God only give yu what yu can handle so that means there's only alil I cant — X JVale Copy Share Image
I just want an honest relationship. No lies. No mind games. No cheating. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when people think your guy best friend is your boyfriend... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Relationship Status: Still Waiting For Someone To Call & Confess Their Love For Me..!! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Dear haters, I'm gonna give you more reason to hate me. Have patience. — Tanya Bianco Copy Share Image
Why don't blind people sky dive? Because it scares the hell out of their dogs! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I hate it when chocolate melts so quickly on my fingers, I mean like I know I'm hot, but... — Avalon Copy Share Image
Roses are red, Facebook is blue, you look bangable, so ill add you. — Aalaynah Thompson Copy Share Image
Just because this is a facebook status, doesn't mean you have to like me. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
