Everyone always bitching its Monday! Seriously your lucky to have a job in the first place. — Kevin McCarty Copy Share Image
There was once a cross-eyed teacher who couldn't control his pupils. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If you don't have a Facebook account, all your high school friends just assume you died. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Facts are meaningless - you could use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
We cant and we dont READ MINDS. So SPEAK UP if you want us to know whats on your mind. — Collins Hasty Copy Share Image
If your girlfriend claims that she never looks at your Facebook profile; Try changing your status to 'Single' and wait 3-5 minutes... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'm going to do my best for you. I'm gonna fight for you. And if in the end you won't love me,… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Im not a Facebook status you don't have to like me, but just cuz you don't,doesn't mean other people wont. Just know… — Rosie Krein Copy Share Image
Whoever coined the phrase 'You don't know what you got till its gone.' was talking about toilet paper, probably. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when you hold the door open for someone then suddenly everybody in the building decides to go out. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Sorry you're upset that three brutal murders by one of your players may impact your team's playoff chances. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Does everyone have a weird Facebook acquaintance that comments on all their shit, or is it just me? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You should probably buy your condoms before your next wild vacation to Denmark. The Danish word for condom is Svangerskabsforebyggendemiddel. Try saying… — Kevin McCarty Copy Share Image
He'll never be better than he is on the first date. Unless he's rich and hasn't told you yet. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Who else has dropped the phone on their face while laying in bed reading Facebook? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'm well aware when i've to use suck me or fuck me. Yea I'm classy like that! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
People usually say Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Personally, I find it's in big boobs. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Pencils could be made with erasers at both ends, but what would be the point? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
When you fuck over people who've been nothing but good to you, you create demons for yourself. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Etc: The word that makes people think you are smarter than you really are. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I wish facebook would notify me when people delete me, that way I can Like it. — Nate Copy Share Image
It's always awesome when my blinker matches the beat of the song on the radio. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Smoking weed is legal in 6 states. Having sex with a horse is legal in 23. Good going America. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Some hoes only meet the parents because they gotta walk pass the living room. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
“The best sign of a really nice and working relationship is no sign of it on Facebook.” — Hongki Ader Copy Share Image
Who are you? Why am I here? I want answers now or I want them eventually! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
When I have bad dreams I wake up pissed at the person in real life for like 5 minutes. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Sometimes you just have to sit down and ask your parents if they sold your soul. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
