I don't mind if others don't like me. After all,I'm not a Facebook status. — Abhishek Tiwari Copy Share Image
Ever looked back at your ex and asked yourself was I drunk the entire relationship? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You think youre pretty smart until you have to figure out how to turn on someone elses shower. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If you push your brother down the stairs, he will become your step brother. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Don't worry about who I'm with in my space time if you're not working on trying to be mine. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
A real friend would willing to listen your unimportant and scrubby story. — OhItsVynn Copy Share Image
Black people mad Romney's white. White people mad Obama's black. Me? I'm mad no one cares about their policies or our country. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
In a few years priests will say, 'You may now change your relationship status to husband and wife.' — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I may not agree with what you have to say, but I shall defend to the death your right to shut up. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Reading a book and having to re-read the same paragraph over and over again because your thoughts are too distracting. — AmiT Copy Share Image
Don't Take It Seriously * When the SHARE BROKER says, It will rise right up, fluctuate for a while and then slowly… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Getting hand full of FRIENDSHIP BANDS doesn't mean they are all true friends Just get a band to hearts its enough to… — Ejaz D RoxTar Copy Share Image
When I was younger I thought the cool thing was to have tons of friends & be social... now I don't give… — Ritu Ghatourey Copy Share Image
Longest minutes ever: 1. Waiting on a text 2.) Waiting on your food to get out the microwave 3.) Commercials while watching a good show. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
My girlfriend told me I'm awful in bed. I don't know how she can tell in 30 seconds. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Girls spend hours deciding what to wear, and all guys do is try to picture us naked. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Walmart usually uses 4 checkouts, unless it's really busy then they use 1. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When I was kid, werewolves and vampires were scary. Now everyone wants to date them. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When I said What did I do this time? I really meant What did you catch me doing? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Facebook is free too bad the phone there coming out with is but it isn't. — Kevin McCarty Copy Share Image
I did a theatrical performance about puns. Really it was just a play on words. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If you tickle my feet I am not responsible for what happens to your face. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
My silence does not means I forgot..the mountain is silent but have volcano inside!! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
One of the great mysteries of life is how a man can leave his car keys in the refrigerator. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Choose your Facebook profile pic carefully. It'll be the one they use when you go missing. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I can't believe it's 2012 and there is still no fold button on my dryer. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You know you're on your period when everyone around you has an attitude problem. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Texting me with a signature, just got you added to the block list. Have a nice day. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
There's always that person whom you wish their status was about you. — Punkinhead Abhishek Copy Share Image
