Did anyone else notice the sound if you click the like button on my status? — Danish Copy Share Image
Netflix is soo much better than going out and pretending to like people. — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
Don't Take It Seriously * When the INTERIOR DECORATOR says, Once it's in, you'll love it — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Love me, ill move mountains to make you happy Hurt me, & I'll drop those mountains on your face — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When people sign up for love, they forget to read the fine print...which says, not guaranteed to last forever. Pain and tears… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If her facebook status says in a relationship & it's complicated is it safe to say she fucks other guys? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you take care of our house & everyone in it, & I learned we… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
All women are witches, but if you pretend to listen to them when they talk, they will probably spare you from black… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
The house is clean, the kids are fed, I've scrubbed my butt now I'm off to bed. Goodnight friends, sleep with the… — Julie Hernandez Copy Share Image
Bitches be twerking for NO REASON, *microwave goes off* oh shit , my food done. *starts twerking* HOE SIT YO ASS DOWN & EAT ! — Armin Ferizovic Copy Share Image
Dear Mom and Dad, Just because I listen to music that say bad words, talk about sex, drugs and alcohol DOESN'T mean… — Martha Edith Copy Share Image
I never use the little twist ties to close a bag of bread...I just spin the bag and tuck it under the… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I bet plants go like 'Weeeeeeeee!' whenever they're swallowed by a giraffe. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That's it! You people have stood in my way long enough. I'm going to clown college! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I hate it when you sit down in shorts and suddenly your thighs look 9867484949 times fatter. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When a woman agrees to give her husband head for no reason --- there is a reason. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Starbucks acts like they're so fancy. You sell hot black water and muffins. Calm down. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Twitter: Where people bitch for everyone's attention and validation from strangers. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Well, crying isn't gonna bring him back, unless your tears smell like dog food. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Darling you're so far up your own backside you need a sat nav to help you out of it — Sparki Dee Copy Share Image
My relationship is like iphone 6, it doesn't exist but someday it will..!!! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
EX Means: Thanks for the EXperience. Our time has EXpired, though. Now EXit my life. — Toni Watson Copy Share Image
What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing - but it let out a little whine. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
The awkward moment when two frenemies say I love you! on Facebook... — Lisette Alfaro Copy Share Image
When someone you even don't know, hates you...that's when you know you're the best! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
They only want you when they can't have you and when they can have you they don't want you. — Ephrem Hardin Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when the same person you deleted off Facebook tries to add you again. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
