Facebook status Quotes · Page 30

Halloween is just like any other day, people still just pretending to be something they're not.

— Anonymous

When you're in the shower, suddenly everyone needs to get in the bathroom.

— Anonymous

I'm not a facebook status you don't have to like me.

— Anonymous

Bingo! I love that game, but I can't remember what to say when you win.

— Nikhil Saluja

If Facebook was school I swear I'd have perfect attendance.

— Anonymous

May your life be like toilet paper... Long and useful

— Anonymous

If the Olympics were more like the Hunger Games I think I'd probably watch more of it.

— Anonymous

Too many good girls single, too many hoes taken.

— Anonymous

I've never seen a McDonalds or a Burger King under construction. They just show up out of nowhere.

— Anonymous

If all woman in the world died today, human race would no longer possess the secret of how to properly wrap a…

— Nikhil Saluja

Standing there in front of a closet full of clothes and thinking to yourself, 'I have nothing to wear!'

— Anonymous

I wish people were like money, so you could hold them up to the light to see who's real and who's fake...

— Tanya Bianco

That terrible moment when you are halfway across the room with the food you just microwaved and your hands decide it's too…

— Anonymous

Ladies, Don't worry - if you haven't found the man of your dreams yet, there's always a vibrator.

— Nikhil Saluja

Sunglasses allow an individual to stare at people without them knowing. It is Facebook in real life.

— Anonymous

I don't care how old I am, if I go out to eat and there are crayons and paper placemats with puzzles...…

— Anonymous

Emotion is a universal language that everyone speaks and understands

— Anonymous

You thought you were a nothing, but you're really a something, which makes you an anything.

— Anonymous

I wish I can delete you from my mind as easy as deleting you from Facebook.

— Blondie

Gasp Reflex : The reaction of a new father when he sees the new mother's breasts.

— Nikhil Saluja

The blonde cowboy put glue on his six-shooters so he would always stick to his guns.

— Nikhil Saluja

I hate when I go to smell something and accidentally touch it with my nose.

— Anonymous

Dear LOL, thanks for being there when I have nothing else to say.

— Anonymous

That awkward moment when your mom is washing the dishes, and you put one in the sink.

— Anonymous

You dont have to like me, Im not a Facebook status.

— Anonymous

I always wanna hear the truth as longest its exactly what I wanna hear.

— Anonymous

No matter the miles between us, we always stand under the same stars.

— Anonymous

I relish the fact that you've mustard the strength to ketchup to me.

— Nikhil Saluja

Current experiment: How much wine does it take for me to forget that tomorrow is Monday?

— Anonymous

Everybody wanna be cuffed and taken but nobody wants to be committed & faithful.

— Anonymous

As I was filling up my gas tank I realized I didn't want to eat this week anyways.

— Anonymous

Sign on a frozen-food counter: Best meals you ever thaw.

— Nikhil Saluja

To love ones self is the beginning of a life-long romance.

— Enhance Dreams

BLOODY HELL FUCKING SHIT GOD DAMNIT I RIPPED MY KEEP CALM AND CARRY ON POSTER!

— Nikhil Saluja

I am proud of my heart.It's played,burned and broken.But still works

— Abhishek Tiwari

True love is a wonder that has no end or beginning.

— Nikhil Saluja

A dentist and a manicurist married. .. . . They fought tooth and nail.

— Nikhil Saluja

If you miss someone just tag their names to remember you! :D

— Mc Vinzed

I don't like fighting for somthing that I should have.

— Syoung

I just need a search engine that'll remember exactly what I was about to Google when I forget.

— Nikhil Saluja