You shouldn't get too close to the truth, because then maybe you stop being funny. — Bob Newhart Copy Share Image
I knew when I got out of high school that I was going to be a stand-up comic. — Jo Koy Copy Share Image
Comedy is surprise. Comedy is not something that you can, necessarily, do twice. — Bryan Callen Copy Share Image
He who laughs last is the one who is looking at the boobies of the girl who is telling the joke… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
My dishwasher broke this weekend, so I signed up for Match.com to find a new one. — Justin Briggs Copy Share Image
It's always harder satirize what you like rather than what you dislike. — Robert Mankoff Copy Share Image
I'm kind of emotionally dyslexic, and when I feel vulnerable or nervous, I laugh. — Whitney Cummings Copy Share Image
Humor is laughing at what you haven't got when you ought to have it. — Langston Hughes Copy Share Image
“Corporate alchemy isn’t just dark magic; it’s a tragic comedy, a satire as I imagine being written by Kafka on a bad… — Rove Monteux Copy Share Image
I'm a really huge fan of the old romantic comedies from the '30s and '40s... Huge fan. I love all that stuff. — Thomas Jane Copy Share Image
From the age of 14, I remember thinking I wanted to be a comedian. But that was like saying I wanted to… — Lee Mack Copy Share Image
But I'm kind of spoilt when it comes to comedy. I was on 'Friends', which was one of the funniest things on… — Matt LeBlanc Copy Share Image
“As a comedian, the more you commit the sin of stupidity, three essential things happen to your life: ~people applaud you incessantly.… — Michael Bassey Johnson Copy Share Image
“Laugh all you want and cry all you want and whistle at pretty men in the street and to hell with anybody… — Armistead Maupin Copy Share Image
Laughing will give your diaphragm a workout, will show you have a sense of humor, and can increase your life by eight… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The most important thing is to write material that YOU think is funny. If you don't think it's funny, but you're convinced… — Mo Rocca Copy Share Image
I've been trained in dancing and I used to be quite good, though I am a bit rusty right now. But I… — Brittany Murphy Copy Share Image
If one tends to be a humorous person and you have a sense of humor the rest of your life then you… — Alan Thicke Copy Share Image
I didn't believe in systems. Everything human was imperfect and ultimately absurd. What did I believe in then? In humor. In laughing… — Erica Jong Copy Share Image
Having written both comedy and drama, comedy's harder because the fear of failure's so much stronger. When you write a scene and… — Rob Thomas Copy Share Image
If I found myself alone on planet Earth, no other humans, I would have sex with a monkey in like two minutes.… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
For me, anything goes when I pick up a mike. I'm not trying to hurt people - I try not to get… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
I'm probably going to go more the feature film route for a while, just so I have more time on my hands.… — Ally Walker Copy Share Image
“I be dog if hit don't look like sometimes that when a fellow sets out to play a joke, hit ain't another… — William Faulkner Copy Share Image
