They're always going, don't deal with terrorists. Let's deal with them. What's Allah offering you boys, 100 virgins? We'll give you 50 slags. — Frankie Boyle Copy Share Image
The No 1 priority in TV comedy today is 'don't frighten the horses,' and it's probably No 2 and 3 as well. — Frankie Boyle Copy Share Image
I have no real enemies in comedy, but there are a couple of people who I'd laugh about if I heard that… — Frankie Boyle Copy Share Image
Comedy is a terrible way to meet women. It's certainly a way to start talking to them, but they always have preconceptions… — Frankie Boyle Copy Share Image
That's what I do in my stand-up. I work hard and hone the material and after a while audiences expect what I… — Frankie Boyle Copy Share Image
On channels terrified of accusations of bias, or political retribution, comics making jokes about the growing power base of far-right politicians aren't… — Frankie Boyle Copy Share Image
It's good they're holding the Olympics in the East End of London. Means the athletes will have to use extra skill to… — Frankie Boyle Copy Share Image
I guess we were kinda poor when we were kids, but we didn't know it. That's because my dad always refused to… — Frankie Boyle Copy Share Image
I did Scottish footballer of the year this year, attempted to do some comedy at that. Not the brightest people in the… — Frankie Boyle Copy Share Image
I doubt anyone has ever accused comedians of solidarity before. It's hard to think of a less collegiate world than that of… — Frankie Boyle Copy Share Image
I did a ski festival in Austria once. I was struck by how friendly Austrians were, before gradually realising it's more that Glaswegians are… — Frankie Boyle Copy Share
Your ruling class don't care about what happens to you. What seems like some enormous upset in your community is undetectable from a helicopter… — Frankie Boyle Copy Share
Remember, taboos are just a map of what a society feels it's acceptable to be neurotic about. Taboos aren't rational. — Frankie Boyle Copy Share
For 3 Million you could give everyone in Scotland a shovel, and we could dig a hole so deep we could hand her over… — Frankie Boyle Copy Share
Scientists have just built the world's biggest supercollider, and they're doing experiments to see what makes up protons. I hope that if the experiment's… — Frankie Boyle Copy Share
When I went to school, sex education was mainly muttered warnings about the janitor. — Frankie Boyle Copy Share
If you feel more emotion looking at a picture of queuing lorries than a picture of desperate humans living in a lay-by, you need… — Frankie Boyle Copy Share
People who think there's no good way to die have obviously never heard the phrase 'Drug-fuelled-sex-heart-attack'. — Frankie Boyle Copy Share
I feel sorry for Obama because he's still got to fight the innate racism of Americans. I mean, did you see his first speech,… — Frankie Boyle Copy Share
In a lot of farther-flung places in Scotland people are guarded at first, but as soon as they get to know you they really… — Frankie Boyle Copy Share
Trump's one liberal policy seems to be his desire to pump more funding into mental health - which I've taken the liberty of interpreting… — Frankie Boyle Copy Share
We fear the arrival of immigrants that we have drawn here with the wealth we stole from them. For much of the rest of… — Frankie Boyle Copy Share
