Comedian Quotes · Page 33

If you like standup and decide that it's overtaking your life and want to hate it, watch 1,000 standup comedians who are…

— Adam DeVine

Every week Republicans are excited about a new candidate because the one they liked last week turned out to be a moron.

— Andy Borowitz

There's something about being a comedian that means you have to not be scared of failing because failing is part of the…

— David Walliams

If there's anything I like better than honey and ketchup, it's baloney and whipped cream --- and we haven't got any!

— Moe Howard

There is nothing quite as loud as the silence of an audience when a comedian is on stage.

— Dominic Holland

I would have liked to be a comedian in the '20s, or maybe even a comedian on the Mayflower and have a…

— Dani Levy

I think the term 'Twitter comedian' can seem like a pejorative because it's not a job, really, and there's such a low…

— Josh Gondelman

I'm not a comedian, but I love the comedians who know when to get off the stage.

— Topher Grace

I'm happy to say that I'm a lesbian in the world. I know there are people who don't want to be called…

— Anonymous

I never want to be called the funniest Indian female comedian that exists. I feel like I can go head-to-head with the…

— Mindy Kaling

At one point when I was very young, when I was first starting out, I thought, 'Well, one day I'll be able…

— Bo Burnham

I'm not a comedian. I don't do stand-up. I don't tell jokes. I'm a comedic actor, and approach my work that way.…

— Eugene Levy

There are words that I wouldn't say because they hurt people's feelings. I just happen to be a white guy who writes…

— Neal Brennan

What you have to do as a comedian, that I suppose is quite difficult, is you have to end it. All the…

— John Bishop

Some people assume that I'm a stand-up comedian - I couldn't think of anything worse - and then they ask 'would you…

— Joanna Page

I would be so mad if I saw something called a memoir, and then it was Mike Birbiglia. It would be so…

— Mike Birbiglia

Many people are surprised to hear that we have comedians in Russia, but they are there. They are dead, but they are…

— Yakov Smirnoff

I wasn't planning on being a comedian; I just liked to laugh. Somebody said I should do it and that's how I…

— Jamie Kennedy

I wasn't expecting to really draw in respected comedians but it's going to happen along the way and I'm truly honored by…

— Brian Regan

Ultimately, an audience wants to laugh. That's who they like, the comedian who makes them laugh.

— Ted Alexandro

I love following my friend Tony Zaret on Instagram. He's a super funny comedian who makes these parodies of memes, and Instagram…

— Scott Rogowsky

The tragic hero prefers death to prudence. The comedian prefers playing tricks to winning. Only the villain really plays to win.

— Mason Cooley

I never thought much about success early on. I only thought about being a comedian - or just being in show business,…

— Steve Martin

I'm an entertainer, not a commentator. If you're a comedian your job is to make people laugh.

— Johnny Carson

Being a comedian is like being a con man. You have to make 'em like you before you can fool 'em.

— Flip Wilson

Using blasphemy as entertainment is as cheap as a comedian telling a fart joke.

— Katy Perry

Lots of people say if you dredge too much stuff up, you'll go crazy - "You'll go insane!" But for a comedian,…

— Jim Carrey

You can't hold me to the same standard as the president or a school teacher. I'm just a comedian. My job is…

— Tracy Morgan

Comedians usually are rooting for the underdog. I mean to take a shot at an underdog I think is really stupid and…

— Joy Behar

Growing up as a comedian, the first thing you dream of is having your own album, but even more than that, I…

— Christian Finnegan

My daughter Fathima is a bigger comedian than me. She makes me laugh all the time.

— Ali

Why should we tell kidnappers, murderers, and embezzlers their rights? If they don't know their rights, they shouldn't be in the business.

— Pat Paulsen

I consider myself a sit-down comedian really, as much as anything else. I love comedy. Life is a cosmic joke.

— Robert Wyatt

All that the comedian has to show for his years of work and aggravation is the echo of forgotten laughter.

— Fred Allen

I wouldn't say I have comedy chops. I guess you get lucky with good writing because I don't think I'm a comedian…

— Michael Pena

A good comedian can make serious political points while also having a giggle.

— Rosie Jones

You never know what's around the corner unless you peek. Hold someone's hand while you do it. You will feel less scared.

— Amy Poehler

Everyone thinks I'm a comedian - which I am and are. I was born into a comedic family but I'm trained as…

— Marlon Wayans

As a comedian and satirist you have to be neutral, because everyone's fair game. Once you show bias, you lose that.

— Bill Bailey

I still like doing stand-up now, but it's not the same. It used to be that I was out there with five…

— Adam Sandler