Funny SMS / Text messages & jokes (Latest / New in English,Hindi & Urdu)

Wife said I'm dying

Husband texts to wife on cell..

"Hi,what r u doing Darling?"

Wife: I'm dying..!

Husband jumps with joy but types "Sweet Heart, how can I live without U?"

Wife: "U idiot! I'm dying my hair.."

Husband: "Bloody English Language!

Girl checking her weight

A Girl Checks Her Weight = 58kg .
Removes Sandal = 56.
Then Dupatta = 52
Now Coins Finished.......
.
.
.
.
A Boy In A Q Behind Her
Said
Ü Carry On"",
I Have Coins!

Height of coolness:
2 Guys coming out of the examination Hall with chips and coke in hands....
1st guy:which paper was it?
2nd guy:I think maths......
1st guy:(surprisingly) you read the question paper?
2nd guy: no I see a girl sitting besides me using calculator:>

Perfect example of confidence:

Perfect example of confidence:
A junior in an office dialed his boss's number by mistake & said :
Hey, send a coffee in my cabin in two minutes !...........boss shouted : do you know whom you're talking to ?!!!!!!
Junior : no!
Boss: i'm the boss of this office.
Junior (in the same tone) : & do u know whom you're talking to?
Boss: no!
Junior: thank God. (and disconnected da phone).....:d :p

Too late for garbage

Wife Running After A Garbage Truck:
Am I Too Late For The Garbage?

Hubby Following Her Yelled: Not Yet.
Jumpppp Innnn Fastttt.

Sardar english k paper main fail ho gaya

Sardar english k paper main fail ho gaya,
He did translation:

1.Main aam admi nahi hon
I'm not a mango man

2.Sarda or garma fruit hain.
Colda & hota r fruits

3.Mujhey bhi english ati hay
English comes 2 me also

4.do ro do chaar.
give and give four.

5.Mera taluk hari pur hazara se hay
I belong 2 green pur thousanda:)

A child after 3 month of marriage

A sardar had a child after 3 month of marriage.
He asked his wife ye 3 month k bad bacha kaise howa?

Wife replied:tumhari shadi ko kitna arsa hua?
sardar:3 months.

Wife: or meri shadi ko ?
Sardar: 3 months

Wife: or bacha kitne month k baad?
Sardar:3 month.

Wife: total kitne hue?
Sardar: oye 9 months & start dancing
Balle Balle;->

God has given many qualities to you

God has given many qualities to you,
Good look, personality, charm, intelligence,
And many more......this is call as
"Allah meherbaan to gadha bhi pehalwan..."

Little johnny: Mam,will you punish me
for something that I didn't do ?

Teacher : Not at all.

Little johnny : That's good.
Actually i didn't do my homework!

When a girl on facebook

When A Girl
Accepts Your Friend Request It Means She
Accepted Your “Friendship” Not Your
“Proposal”,
When A Girl Sends You A Friend Request It
Means She Wants To Be Your Friend Not Your
Girlfriend,
When She Tag You It Means She Wants To
Share Her Thoughts With You And Not That
She’s Lost In Your Thoughts,
When She Comments On Your Status It Meams
She’s Just Being Social And Not Flirting,
When She Like Your Comment It Means She
Like Your Comment Not You

What if you don't see me for 2 days?

A man came home late at night after a party.
His wife yelled:
"how would you feel if you don't see me for two days?"
The man couldnt believe his luck: 'that would be great'!
Monday passed and he didnt see her......
Tuesday and wednesday passed too.....
On thursday his swelling became better
And now he could see her from the
Corner of one eye;)

SMS4Smile

Funny SMS / Text Messages