Asking questions Quote by Susan J. Elliott

““When you are asking why, when, how questions or trying to figure out how he or she could do what was done or how you can change into the person he or she will love, tell yourself, “It doesn’t matter, it doesn’t matter, it doesn’t matter.” Yes, three times is the charm with this particular mantra. Whenever you are ruminating and obsessing about your ex and asking those questions, say to yourself, “Stop! It doesn’t matter, it doesn’t matter, it doesn’t matter.” Because you know what? It doesn’t matter. The only thing that matters is what you are doing now and that is where your focus needs to be. Whenever you are in someone else’s head, no one is taking care of yours! Stop asking questions about your ex; start asking questions about you.””

Susan J. Elliott

★ ★ ★ ★ ★ 4.4 out of 5 (9 ratings)

More by Susan J. Elliott

“Goal setting works best when you have long-term goals and short-term goals in different areas of your life. Of course, you’re not going to have goals in every area, but you want to choose enough different ones to sustain your interest. Some examples of goal areas are Family relationships and your home; Humanist, volunteer, philanthropy, ethical; Social, cultural, travel, entertainment;…

Susan J. Elliott

“You both have been through a trying time, and you must face that a break will do each of you a world of good. Now is the time to reassess where you’ve been and where you’re going, even if you’re going there together. You still need to take stock of yourself and the relationship so that you can figure out…

Susan J. Elliott

“After a breakup, you may also feel physically and mentally incapacitated in some way. You have trouble sleeping, or you sleep too much. You become accident-prone. You have trouble putting a sentence together. You feel scattered and overwhelmed by feelings. You may doubt your ability to function, and maybe your sanity. The emotions seem so big and so unmanageable that…

Susan J. Elliott

“My therapist would later explain to me that “water seeks its own level” and that your partner’s flaws and issues usually go hand in hand with your own. A person chooses a partner with a similar degree of “brokenness” and does a dance of dysfunction where they both know the steps. Therefore, one person cannot be so much healthier than…

Susan J. Elliott

“Several of my clients, students, and readers have come to realize that they spent all their adult lives in relationships in which they were only running from grief. One woman’s fear of loss was so chronic that, from the time she was a teenager, she never left a relationship until she had started a new one. She said, “I thought…

Susan J. Elliott

“The pain of heartache often comes in unpredictable episodes of intense pain that come and go. These episodes are called grief “spasms”—you feel overwhelmed…

Susan J. Elliott