Cognitive dissonance Quote by Susan Forward
““Reality Check His lying is not contigent on who you are or what you do. His lying is not your fault. Lying is his choice and his problem, and if he makes that choice with you, he will make it with any other woman he’s with. That doesn’t mean you’re an angel and he’s the devil. It does mean that if he doesn’t like certain things about you, he has many ways to address them besides lying. If there are sexual problems between you, there are many resources available to help you. Nothing can change until you hold him responsible and accountable for lying and stop blaming yourself. The lies we tell ourselves to keep from seeing the truth about our lovers don’t feel like lies. They feel comfortable, familiar, and true. We repeat them like a mantra and cling to them like security blankets, hoping to calm ourselves and regain our sense that the world works the way we believe it ought to. Self-lies are false friends we look to for comfort and protection—and for a short time they may make us feel better. But we can only keep the truth at bay for so long. Our self-lies can’t erase his lies, and as we’ll see, the longer we try to pretend they can, the more we deepen the hurt.””
About This Quote
The passage explains that a partner’s deceit is a personal choice, not the victim’s fault, and that self‑deception only delays confronting the truth, which is necessary for healing.
In simple terms: Lying is his choice; self‑lies delay truth.
Key Takeaway
Accountability ends self‑deception.
Themes
personal responsibility
self‑deception
relationship dynamics
empowerment
truth‑seeking
Mood
reflective
cautious
hopeful
Type
advice
reflection
warning
When to use this quote
- discovering a partner’s infidelity
- feeling blamed for a partner’s behavior
- seeking emotional clarity
- navigating sexual issues
- breaking cycles of denial
Key Concepts
lie
accountability
self‑lie
healing
Practical Applications
- therapy or counseling
- support groups
Questions to Reflect On
- How does blaming yourself affect your ability to set boundaries?
- What steps can you take to replace self‑lies with empowering truths?
![“Dallas Willard explains: The world has succeeded in opposing intelligence to goodness. . . . And today any attempt to combine spirituality or moral purity with great intelligence causes widespread pangs of “cognitive dissonance.” [As with Jesus,] Mother Teresa . . . is thought of as . . . nice, of…” quote by Jared C. Wilson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/55b/jared-c-wilson-16055_cognitive-dissonance_dallas-willard-explains-the-world-has-su_387854.jpg)
