““Now, the scene you just saw," I began, pointing to the stage. "Was about you and T.C.," he concluded, nodding like he already knew. "What??" "She pretends she doesn't like him and he pretends he doesn't care." I had no handy rebuttal to that particular allegation and wouldn't have been able to come up with one if I'd been given a week's notice. So I countered with the only safe reply I could think of. "The toilet is not working properly.””