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“Inner child, what do you suggest? 'I WANT A TREEHOUSE!' Anything else to add? 'FARTY NOISE UNDER THE ARM!'”

Russell Howard

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I'm trying to write a film with my friend. I'd love to get the thrill of speaking actors making my work even funnier.

Russell Howard

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When you're three, you're into custard, and jumping.

Russell Howard

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I always found it strange, when I went round to other people's houses for tea and that, how strict their parents were.

Russell Howard

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Mum's side of the family are daft, beautiful and brilliant.

Russell Howard

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I'm a bit of a Luddite.

Russell Howard

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Death by rats would be the worst.

Russell Howard

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It's a bit of a cliche but throughout London, even in places like Notting Hill, you'll see utter luxury alongside council flats - it…

Russell Howard

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The British Museum is great for seeing how excellent we were at stealing things.

Russell Howard

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If I was to get into Twitter I'd expose myself to people who adore me or people who absolutely hated me. Neither of those…

Russell Howard

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There's a club called Headliners in Chiswick where I do a lot of my warmups for tours. For me it's a nice 'big-small' room:…

Russell Howard

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Mumbai was magical, which I was really surprised by, and I got an insight into the world of Bollywood while hanging out with some…

Russell Howard

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It's just a joy travelling with your job. You get to wander around these interesting cities and then things happen or you observe things…

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Explore all 126 Russell Howard quotes

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Most marriages don't add two people together. They subtract one from the other.

Ian Fleming

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Friendship, "the wine of life," should, like a well-stocked cellar, be continually renewed; and it is consolatory to think, that although we can seldom…

James Boswell

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Life as we know it is fundamentally unsatisfying. I think most folks feel this to be true. They know that a life of aimless…

Michael Yates

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Give me a platter of choice finnan haddie, freshly cooked in its bath of water and milk, add melted butter, a slice or two…

Craig Claiborne

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Writing adds up to the conscience of our times.

Martin Firrell

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A 'modern' man has nothing to add to modernism, if only because he has nothing to oppose it with. The well-adapted drop off the…

Elias Canetti

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Observation and theory get on best when they are mixed together, both helping one another in the pursuit of truth. It is a good…

Arthur Eddington

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I may add that we have more than once stated our willingness to conclude nonaggression pacts with the states neighboring our own!

Adolf Hitler

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The American Constitution declares 'All men are born equal.' The British Socialist Party add: 'All men must be kept equal'.

Winston Churchill

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New generations of humans inherit the acquired discoveries of generations past, allowing cosmic insight to accumulate without limit. Each discovery of science therefore adds…

Neil deGrasse Tyson