"Ok... so who wants to hear about my……" — Nick Swardson
"Ok... so who wants to hear about my STD from the silent film era? Yeah, put your hands up for that one. This chick's pussy smelled like the Great Depression."
—
Nick Swardson
★
★
★
★
★
0.0 avg (0 ratings)
34 Quotes by Nick Swardson
Nick Swardson has 34 quotes on this site.
A few more worth reading:
-
Babies are like the smallest, drunkest people you know.
-
If you want to be a comedian, go out. Do a week in Des Moines, Iowa. Try to make those…
-
Comedy is so subjective, you know what I mean? To sit there and technically pick it apart is so stupid.
-
No one will ever be as good as Phil Hartman. He was such an amazing genius, and may be the…
-
I moved to the Ukraine. And it was cold, and everyone had guns, and smelled like soup.
-
God bless you Jimmy, God bless your heart.
-
Can we take a shower and talk about this?
-
Ah, you smell like a winner. You smell like USA!
-
You look great Jimmy. You look amazing and your hair rocks. You look so good, oh my gosh. You look…
-
Hello........Cool I hope its a naked dude with a boner.
-
Fruitcup? Nice....way to go mom!
-
Who wants to know what Jackie Gleason's balls tasted like? Yes, Cornbread.
See all 34 quotes by Nick Swardson »
More Depression Quotes
This quote is filed under Depression Quotes,
one of 2,071 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:
-
There is in every madman a misunderstood genius whose idea, shining in his head, frightened people, and for whom delirium…
— Antonin Artaud
-
Start by doing what's necessary; then do what's possible; and suddenly you are doing the impossible.
— Francis of Assisi
-
The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in…
— Marcus Aurelius
-
It is not seen as insane when a fighter, under an attack that will inevitable lead to his death, chooses…
— Emilie Autumn
-
What the caterpillar calls the end of the world the master calls a butterfly.
— Richard Bach
-
Don't believe what your eyes are telling you. All they show is limitation. Look with your understanding, find out what…
— Richard Bach
-
There's been moments of depression in my life, moments when I was in situations that I thought I wouldn't be…
— Stephen Baldwin
-
I went from being very popular and the head of the clique in the sixth grade to having, like, kid…
— Tyra Banks
-
If I didn't try to eavesdrop on every bus ride I take or look for the humor when I go…
— Lynda Barry
-
In general, the more food we eat in its natural state - without additives - and the less it is…
— Ezra Taft Benson
-
Importantly, in the 1930s, in the Great Depression, the Federal Reserve, despite its mandate, was quite passive and, as a…
— Ben Bernanke
-
Compared to America or Europe, God isn't a big part of our lives here. I don't know anyone here who…
— Bjork
See all 2,071 Depression Quotes »