Christmas Quote by Milton Berle

I gave my wife a gift certificate for Christmas. She ran out to exchange it for a bigger size.

— Milton Berle

I made a terrible mistake last Christmas. My wife made me swear that I wouldn't give her a fancy gift. And I didn't.

— Milton Berle

Last Christmas someone stole my present. I've spent this year living in the past.

— Terry Alderton

My mom's really into Christmas ornaments and our tree's lavish and beautiful.

— Hannah Brown

I had a year-round Christmas tree with nothing but colored vinyl 45s hanging on it, like, old Elvis records and stuff.

— John Prine

I gave my wife a twenty-five-dollar gift certificate. She used it as a down payment on a mink coat.

— Milton Berle

I bought my mum a car, and I bought my brother one of those hoverboards for Christmas, and I bought my family a holiday…

— Russell Howard

I grew up with a Christmas tree, I'm going to stay with a Christmas tree.

— Thomas Menino

I was a Christmas present that was delivered unwrapped.

— Rod Serling

“A lot of educated, thoughtful, well-meaning people will spend hours and hundreds of dollars buying their rascally child this year's must-have toy at Christmastime.…

— Dave Bruno

One Christmas my father kept our tree up till March. He hated to see it go. I loved that.

— Mo Rocca

My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something…

— Rita Rudner