Coordinates Quote by Mike Birbiglia

“My friends drink everywhere. They even drink at the laundromat. I tried drinking at the laundromat, and I thought I was in a submarine, navigating the Sea of White Panties with my Spanish-speaking crew. I was like, "Mrs. Sanchez, set the coordinates to Permanent Press! Give me some quarters and…” quote by Mike Birbiglia — Download Open image

“My friends drink everywhere. They even drink at the laundromat. I tried drinking at the laundromat, and I thought I was in a submarine, navigating the Sea of White Panties with my Spanish-speaking crew. I was like, "Mrs. Sanchez, set the coordinates to Permanent Press! Give me some quarters and another drink! This place is starting to look like a laundromat."”

Mike Birbiglia

★ ★ ★ ★ ★ 4.7 out of 5 (8 ratings)

More by Mike Birbiglia

So I went to a club the other day, which is timely because my self esteem had been hovering right around 'normal' and I…

Mike Birbiglia

Image

My writing process is very feedback-based. When I do stand-up, I listen to the audience. I try to understand what's connecting, what's not connecting,…

Mike Birbiglia

Image

I've actually always wanted to write like a one-person show that was sort of a romantic comedy - a show that was kind of…

Mike Birbiglia

Image

It's interesting how sleepwalking in a certain way becomes an accumulation of your outside stimuli that's actually there and what's happening in your brain.

Mike Birbiglia

Image

I went to the doctor, and they found something in my bladder. And whenever they find something, it's never anything good like, "We found…

Mike Birbiglia

Image

Bears are simultaneously so graceful and so strong. Bears know who they are, but they often don’t know who you are, which is why…

Mike Birbiglia

Image

Once you start writing something obsessively, it's almost like someone has to rip it from your hands in order for you to put it…

Mike Birbiglia

Image

I always try to attack the most honest issues I can in my comedy.

Mike Birbiglia

Image

The list of fun and easily fixed brain diseases is very short.

Mike Birbiglia

Image

When I met my wife, I was a working comic, so the first week we went out, she saw me perform, and it was…

Mike Birbiglia

Image

I think because I've been working in front of audiences for so many years, I'm able to take in the input, good or bad,…

Mike Birbiglia

Image

Directing your first film is like showing up to the field trip in seventh grade, getting on the bus, and making an announcement, 'So…

Mike Birbiglia

Image

Explore all 253 Mike Birbiglia quotes

More Coordinates quotes

[States and the Federal government are] coordinate departments of one simple and integral whole... The one is the domestic, the other the foreign branch…

Thomas Jefferson

Image

The US has developed two coordinate governing classes: the one, called 'business,' building cities, manufacturing and distributing goods, and holding complete and autocratic power…

Thurman Arnold

Image

Thousands of years of ideological, philosophical and practical decisions were made. They altered the surface of the earth, the coordinates of our souls. For…

Arundhati Roy

Image

The introduction of numbers as coordinates by reference to the particular division scheme of the open one-dimensional continuum is an act of violence whose…

Hermann Weyl