Marriage Quote by Malcolm Gladwell
““Or they can be in negative sentiment override, so that even a relatively neutral thing that a partner says gets perceived as negative. In the negative sentiment override state, people draw lasting conclusions about each other. If their spouse does something positive, it's a selfish person doing a positive thing. It's really hard to change those states, and those states determine whether one party tries to repair things, the other party sees that as repair or hostile manipulation.””
About This Quote
Source Interview: “The Power of Bad Relationships”, The Atlantic, 2015
People can develop a negative bias that distorts neutral actions as hostile, making repair attempts seem manipulative and hard to change.
In simple terms: Negative bias makes neutral actions seem hostile.
Key Takeaway
Recognize and challenge negative bias.
Themes
relationships
perception
communication
trust
conflict
Mood
frustrated
reflective
Type
analytical
advisory
When to use this quote
- marriage counseling
- team meetings
- friendship disputes
- customer service interactions
Key Concepts
cognitive bias
attribution error
emotional contagion
Questions to Reflect On
- How does your own bias affect how you interpret others' actions?
- What steps can you take to reset a negative perception?
A Different Perspective
Bias can be reinforced by past hurts, making change difficult.
![“[Norden] said, with the Mark 15 Norden bombsight, he could drop a bomb into a pickle barrel at 20,000 feet.” quote by Malcolm Gladwell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/565/malcolm-gladwell-348_barrels_norden-said-with-the-mark-15-norden-bomb_62474.jpg)
![“I don't like being away from home. That's one reason why I don't work as much as I used to [when I started my career], because so many things are on the road. I just don't want to be away from my husband, my dogs and my home. I don't sing that much any more because that also takes you on the road.” quote by Jane Powell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/07c/jane-powell-36243_away-from-home_i-don-t-like-being-away-from-home-that-s_278.jpg)
