"The best way to thaw a frozen turkey?…" — Johnny Carson
"The best way to thaw a frozen turkey? Blow in it's ear."
—
Johnny Carson
★
★
★
★
★
0.0 avg (0 ratings)
55 Quotes by Johnny Carson
Johnny Carson has 55 quotes on this site.
A few more worth reading:
-
Never continue in a job you don't enjoy. If you're happy in what you're doing, you'll like yourself, you'll have…
-
I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the…
-
If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners.
-
I was so naive as a kid I used to sneak behind the barn and do nothing.
-
Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.
-
If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.
-
Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill.
-
Never use a big word when a little filthy one will do.
-
Talent alone won't make you a success. Neither will being in the right place at the right time, unless you…
-
Democracy means that anyone can grow up to be president, and anyone who doesn't grow up can be vice president.
-
Anytime four New Yorkers get into a cab together without arguing, a bank robbery has just taken place.
-
For days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow, but phone calls taper off.
See all 55 quotes by Johnny Carson »
More Best Quotes
This quote is filed under Best Quotes,
one of 26,758 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:
-
This is the precept by which I have lived: Prepare for the worst; expect the best; and take what comes.
— Hannah Arendt
-
Where all are guilty, no one is; confessions of collective guilt are the best possible safeguard against the discovery of…
— Hannah Arendt
-
When you care about human beings, you do your best to not repress and to not let people to repress…
— Jean-Bertrand Aristide
-
As we all know, many people remain buried under tons of rubble and debris, waiting to be rescued. When we…
— Jean-Bertrand Aristide
-
Hope is a waking dream.
— Aristotle
-
My best friend is the man who in wishing me well wishes it for my sake.
— Aristotle
-
At his best, man is the noblest of all animals; separated from law and justice he is the worst.
— Aristotle
-
The ideal man bears the accidents of life with dignity and grace, making the best of circumstances.
— Aristotle
-
It is best to rise from life as from a banquet, neither thirsty nor drunken.
— Aristotle
-
Those who excel in virtue have the best right of all to rebel, but then they are of all men…
— Aristotle
-
Education is the best provision for old age.
— Aristotle
-
If liberty and equality, as is thought by some, are chiefly to be found in democracy, they will be best…
— Aristotle
See all 26,758 Best Quotes »