Anniversary Quote by Jenny Lawson

“His name is Tyson? I hate to break it to you, but you dated a brand of chicken.”

— Gena Showalter

“...Oh, and he groped your face. Sounds like true love to me.' 'He didn't grope my face. We were talking. And he also bought…

— Elizabeth Scott

And Max, I've put some scraps in a bowl for your dog," Mom said. "It's on the floor, by the back door." The flock…

— James Patterson

At first I thought he was walking a dog. Then I realized it was his date.

— Edith Massey

“I wonder why when I told him that my chest still ached even though I had finally told him how I felt, he said,…

— Kou Yoneda

One night she told me to put out the garbage. I told her "you cooked it, you take it out".

— Rodney Dangerfield

One time I tried to marry a chicken.

— Calum Hood

As your older brother, it's my sacred duty to save you from yourself." She brings her fists down on the table, making all the…

— Neal Shusterman

Dear 4th grader, How can you be in a complicated relationship? I mean WHAT, did he do steal your animal crackers.

— Anonymous

I sent an ex of mine an enormous oil painting of me as a housewarming gift. It was one of the most elaborate and…

— Sue Perkins

So I said, 'Where do you want to go for your anniversary?' She said: 'I want to go somewhere I've never been before.' I…

— Anonymous

My mother had been slicing up the chicken. She took a drumstick and dropped it on the floor. She kicked it around a little,…

— Janet Evanovich