"If I had a mine shaft, I don't……" — Jack Handey
"If I had a mine shaft, I don't think I would just abandon it. There's got to be a better way."
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Jack Handey
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397 Quotes by Jack Handey
Jack Handey has 397 quotes on this site.
A few more worth reading:
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If any man says he hates war more than I do, he better have a knife, that's all I have…
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I hope that after I die, people will say of me: 'That guy sure owed me a lot of money.'
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People think it would be fun to be a bird because you could fly. But they forget the negative side,…
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The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.
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I guess of all my uncles, I liked Uncle Caveman the best. We called him Uncle Caveman because he lived…
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If I could be a bird, I'd be a Flying Purple People Eater, because then people would sing about me…
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Is there anything more beautiful than a beautiful, beautiful flamingo, flying across in front of a beautiful sunset? And he's…
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What is it about a beautiful sunny afternoon, with the birds singing and the wind rustling through the leaves, that…
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Not screaming in terror like his passengers.
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Somebody told me it was frightening how much topsoil we are losing each year, but I told that story around…
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MEMORIES OF MY FAMILY MEETINGS still are a source of strength to me. I remember we'd all get into the…
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I BET WHEN NEANDERTHAL KIDS would make a snowman, someone would always end up saying, "Don't forget the thick heavy…
See all 397 quotes by Jack Handey »
More Abandon Quotes
This quote is filed under Abandon Quotes,
one of 715 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:
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If I can procure three hundred good substantial names of persons, or bodies, or institutions, I cannot fail to do…
— John James Audubon
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If Christ Jesus dwells in a man as his friend and noble leader, that man can endure all things, for…
— Teresa of Avila
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The people who abandon Jihad fall a victim to humility and degradation.
— Abu Bakr
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When you are portraying somebody that has a very specific emotional weight, you feel like you're really starting to abandon…
— Javier Bardem
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If Republicans are aiming for the heart, for compassion, the last thing they should do is abandon the sanctity of…
— Gary Bauer
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More and more political analysts and weak-kneed politicians are advising the historically pro-life Republican Party to abandon its pro-life stance…
— Gary Bauer
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Sex pleasure in woman is a kind of magic spell; it demands complete abandon; if words or movements oppose the…
— Simone de Beauvoir
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The torment of precautions often exceeds the dangers to be avoided. It is sometimes better to abandon one's self to…
— Napoleon Bonaparte
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The essence of optimism is that it takes no account of the present, but it is a source of inspiration,…
— Dietrich Bonhoeffer
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I had to abandon free market principles in order to save the free market system.
— George W. Bush
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I'm not suggesting people abandon musical instruments and start playing their cars and apartments, but I do think the reign…
— David Byrne
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To abandon oneself to principles is really to die - and to die for an impossible love which is the…
— Albert Camus
See all 715 Abandon Quotes »