"When I ask how old your toddler is,……" — George Carlin
"When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to hear '27 months.' 'He's two' will do just fine. He's not a cheese. And I didn't really care in the first place."
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George Carlin
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546 Quotes by George Carlin
George Carlin has 546 quotes on this site.
A few more worth reading:
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Weather forecast for tonight: dark.
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The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
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Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is…
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Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town.
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Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why…
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The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You know, I want to set…
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Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.
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Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
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Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.
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I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, 'Where's the self-help section?' She said if she told me, it…
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I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then…
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The reason I talk to myself is that I'm the only one whose answers I accept.
See all 546 quotes by George Carlin »
More Ask Quotes
This quote is filed under Ask Quotes,
one of 8,438 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:
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We must no more ask whether the soul and body are one than ask whether the wax and the figure…
— Aristotle
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Ask yourself the secret of your success. Listen to your answer, and practice it.
— Richard Bach
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If journalists ask you again and again about the same bands, you'll end up saying you hate them just because…
— Billie Joe Armstrong
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If you have to ask what jazz is, you'll never know.
— Louis Armstrong
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I began wearing hats as a young lawyer because it helped me to establish my professional identity. Before that, whenever…
— Bella Abzug
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I could be on 52nd and Third in Manhattan up and ask a strange for directions and they will help…
— Rodney Atkins
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To save your world you asked this man to die; would this man, could he see you now, ask why?
— Wystan Hugh Auden
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Before people complain of the obscurity of modern poetry, they should first examine their consciences and ask themselves with how…
— Wystan Hugh Auden
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If two friends ask you to judge a dispute, don't accept, because you will lose one friend; on the other…
— Saint Augustine
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It is happy for you that you possess the talent of flattering with delicacy. May I ask whether these pleasing…
— Jane Austen
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The Holy Spirit is our comforter, our teacher. That's why, in prayer, we can ask the Lord to open up…
— Michele Bachmann
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I'm not an actor that tends to care. I don't ask 'Is this a close up? Is this a master?…
— Christian Bale
See all 8,438 Ask Quotes »