““I would be delighted to wash dishes tonight,” said in a snarling tone will not be received as an expression of love. On the other hand, we can share hurt, pain, and even anger in a kind manner, and that will be an expression of love. “I felt disappointed and hurt that you didn’t offer to help me this evening,” said in an honest, kind manner can be an expression of love. The person speaking wants to be known by her spouse. She is taking steps to build intimacy by sharing her feelings. She is asking for an opportunity to discuss a hurt in order to find healing. The same words expressed with a loud, harsh voice will be not an expression of love but an expression of condemnation and judgment.””
![“The getting out part [of advise] may well be true. Because if you have tried the tender love thing... typically the abuser is not going to change until they are pushed in a corner.” quote by Gary Chapman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/e10/gary-chapman-1325_abusers_the-getting-out-part-of-advise-may-well_178102.jpg)
![“I wrote this book [ Desperate Marriages] because of my own marriage. My wife and I struggled greatly in the early years of marriage. In spite of the fact that we were Christians before we got married, we prayed about getting married, we believed it was God's will for us to get married, and we…” quote by Gary Chapman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/66d/gary-chapman-1325_book_i-wrote-this-book-desperate-marriages-be_209297.jpg)
