"If anyone knew where they were, I'd send……" — Erma Bombeck
"If anyone knew where they were, I'd send the ISDBB (Incredibly Stupid and Dumb Beyond Belief) award to the two guys who tried to break in to the Ohio penitentiary."
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Erma Bombeck
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251 Quotes by Erma Bombeck
Erma Bombeck has 251 quotes on this site.
A few more worth reading:
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When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a…
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Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not…
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A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.
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When your mother asks, 'Do you want a piece of advice?' it is a mere formality. It doesn't matter if…
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There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt.
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It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding.
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My theory on housework is, if the item doesn't multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it…
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I haven't trusted polls since I read that 62% of women had affairs during their lunch hour. I've never met…
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Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving.
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There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.
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Do you know what you call those who use towels and never wash them, eat meals and never do the…
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Don't confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other.
See all 251 quotes by Erma Bombeck »
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