Madam Quote by Elizabeth Gaskell

I won't say she was silly, but I think one of us was silly, and it wasn't me.

— Elizabeth Gaskell

I’m not saying she was very silly, but one of us was very silly and it wasn’t me.

— Elizabeth Gaskell

If a man does something silly, people say, 'Isn't he silly?' If a woman does something silly, people say, 'Aren't women silly?

— Doris Day

Humor is falling downstairs if you do it in the act of telling your wife not to.

— Fougasse

My wife's so dumb, she got a nail in the spare!!

— Rodney Dangerfield

Don't laugh at your wife's choices, you were one of them.

— Camille Cassie Govender

Girlfriend is such a stupid word. I couldn't stand calling her that. So, we had to get married, so I could call her 'wife.

— Gayle Forman

Lady crossing the street, not paying attention, almost got hit. Turns to husband & screams, 'Why didn't YOU watch where I was going?!'

— Kal Penn

What was funny if you were there is that we were all immensely sophisticated people who knew exactly what she was going to say…

— Anthony Holden

I caught my wife in bed with another man and I was crushed. So I said, "Get off of me, you two!"

— Emo Philips

My wife is very stealth-funny. She'll come out with something when I'm not expecting it, and it'll just kill me.

— Paul Rudd

“I swear, if you touch me, I’ll go Lorena Bobbitt on you.” Lorena Bobbitt? Why does that sound—oh my God, the lady that chopped…

— Molly McAdams