Friendship Quote by Elizabeth Gaskell
““And besides, in the matter of friendship, I have observed that the disappointment here arises chiefly, not from liking our friends too well, or thinking of them too highly, but rather from an over-estimate of their liking for and opinion of us ; and that if we guard ourselves with sufficient scrupulousness of care from error in this direction, and can be content, and even happy to give more affection than we receive -- can make just comparison of circumstances, and be severely accurate in drawing inferences thence, and never let self-love blind our eyes -- I think we may manage to get through life with consistency and constancy, unembittered by that misanthropy which springs from revulsions of feeling. All this sounds a little metaphysical, but it is good sense of if you consider it. The moral of it is, that if we would build on a sure foundation in friendship, we must love our friends for their sakes rather than for our own ; we must look at their truth to themselves , full as much as their truth to us . In the latter case, every wound to self-love would be a cause of coldness; in the former, only some painful change in the friend's character and disposition -- some fearful breach in his allegiance to his better self -- could alienate the heart.””
About This Quote
Friendship thrives when we value others for their own sake, not as a reflection of our self‑esteem; over‑estimating their regard leads to disappointment.
In simple terms: Value others beyond self‑image
Love for others' sake, not ego
Themes
Mood
Type
When to use this quote
- conflict resolution with a
- evaluating relationships
- managing expectations
- nurturing long‑term bonds
Key Concepts
Practical Applications
- coaching interpersonal growth
- designing relationship‑building workshops
Questions to Reflect On
- How does self‑esteem shape our expectations of friends?
- What practices help us appreciate others independently of our own needs?