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Friendship Quote by Elizabeth Gaskell

“And besides, in the matter of friendship, I have observed that the disappointment here arises chiefly, not from liking our friends too well, or thinking of them too highly, but rather from an over-estimate of their liking for and opinion of us ; and that if we guard ourselves with sufficient…” quote by Elizabeth Gaskell
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““And besides, in the matter of friendship, I have observed that the disappointment here arises chiefly, not from liking our friends too well, or thinking of them too highly, but rather from an over-estimate of their liking for and opinion of us ; and that if we guard ourselves with sufficient scrupulousness of care from error in this direction, and can be content, and even happy to give more affection than we receive -- can make just comparison of circumstances, and be severely accurate in drawing inferences thence, and never let self-love blind our eyes -- I think we may manage to get through life with consistency and constancy, unembittered by that misanthropy which springs from revulsions of feeling. All this sounds a little metaphysical, but it is good sense of if you consider it. The moral of it is, that if we would build on a sure foundation in friendship, we must love our friends for their sakes rather than for our own ; we must look at their truth to themselves , full as much as their truth to us . In the latter case, every wound to self-love would be a cause of coldness; in the former, only some painful change in the friend's character and disposition -- some fearful breach in his allegiance to his better self -- could alienate the heart.””

Elizabeth Gaskell

About This Quote

Friendship thrives when we value others for their own sake, not as a reflection of our self‑esteem; over‑estimating their regard leads to disappointment.

In simple terms: Value others beyond self‑image

Key Takeaway

Love for others' sake, not ego

Themes

self‑esteem friendship dynamics humility perception bias emotional resilience

Mood

reflective thoughtful cautious

Type

philosophical advice reflection

When to use this quote

  • conflict resolution with a
  • evaluating relationships
  • managing expectations
  • nurturing long‑term bonds

Key Concepts

self‑love reciprocity authenticity empathy

Practical Applications

  • coaching interpersonal growth
  • designing relationship‑building workshops

Questions to Reflect On

  • How does self‑esteem shape our expectations of friends?
  • What practices help us appreciate others independently of our own needs?
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