"WARNING: This is assuming your spouse's name is…" — Dave Barry

"WARNING: This is assuming your spouse's name is Margaret."

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508 Quotes by Dave Barry

Dave Barry has 508 quotes on this site. A few more worth reading:

Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.
Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting.
Skiing combines outdoor fun with knocking down trees with your face.
Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the…
The Democrats seem to be basically nicer people, but they have demonstrated time and again that they have the management…
'Escargot' is French for 'fat crawling bag of phlegm'.
The simple truth is that balding African-American men look cool when they shave their heads, whereas balding white men look…
We believe that electricity exists, because the electric company keeps sending us bills for it, but we cannot figure out…
The word user is the word used by the computer professional when they mean idiot.
The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl.
Your modern teenager is not about to listen to advice from an old person, defined as a person who remembers…
Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games in Chicago in January, only…

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More Assuming Quotes

This quote is filed under Assuming Quotes, one of 1,443 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:

You can never guess or assume what anyone is going to think. — J. J. Abrams
Negotiation in the classic diplomatic sense assumes parties more anxious to agree than to disagree. — Dean Acheson
Because your own strength is unequal to the task, do not assume that it is beyond the powers of man;… — Marcus Aurelius
When it comes to personnel issues, I act professionally and respectful of former employees. I just assume that's a two-way… — Michele Bachmann
I think a lot of times we don't pay enough attention to people with a positive attitude because we assume… — Amy Adams
The first mistake of art is to assume that it's serious. — Lester Bangs
Guys are simple... women are not simple and they always assume that men must be just as complicated as they… — Dave Barry
Never assume that the guy understands that you and he have a relationship. — Dave Barry
Married couples who work together to build and maintain a business assume broad responsibilities. Not only is their work important… — Melissa Bean
Children who assume adult responsibilities feel old when they're young. — Martha Beck
All too often arrogance accompanies strength, and we must never assume that justice is on the side of the strong.… — Theodore Bikel
All of the people who are using their BlackBerries or their iPhones, Facebook, all of the people who are sitting… — Tony Abbott

See all 1,443 Assuming Quotes »