"I want a pit crew... I hate the……" — Dave Barry

"I want a pit crew... I hate the procedure I currently have to go through when I have car problems."

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508 Quotes by Dave Barry

Dave Barry has 508 quotes on this site. A few more worth reading:

Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.
Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting.
Skiing combines outdoor fun with knocking down trees with your face.
Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the…
The Democrats seem to be basically nicer people, but they have demonstrated time and again that they have the management…
'Escargot' is French for 'fat crawling bag of phlegm'.
The simple truth is that balding African-American men look cool when they shave their heads, whereas balding white men look…
We believe that electricity exists, because the electric company keeps sending us bills for it, but we cannot figure out…
The word user is the word used by the computer professional when they mean idiot.
The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl.
Your modern teenager is not about to listen to advice from an old person, defined as a person who remembers…
Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games in Chicago in January, only…

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More Car Quotes

This quote is filed under Car Quotes, one of 3,664 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:

People are definitely a company's greatest asset. It doesn't make any difference whether the product is cars or cosmetics. A… — Mary Kay Ash
I could be on 52nd and Third in Manhattan up and ask a strange for directions and they will help… — Rodney Atkins
I'm not a collector. I don't like the toy cupboard syndrome that causes so many good cars to evaporate. — Rowan Atkinson
I don't run a car, have never run a car. I could say that this is because I have this… — David Attenborough
Kill all the rich people. Break up their cars and apartments. Bring the revolution home, kill your parents, that's where… — Bill Ayers
(On seeing a former lover for the first time in years) I thought I told you to wait in the… — Tallulah Bankhead
I hate fishing, and I can't imagine why anyone would want to hike when you can get in the car… — Joseph Barbera
One of the points in which I was especially interested was the Jim Crow regulations, that is, the system of… — Ray Stannard Baker
When it comes to cars, only two varieties of people are possible - cowards and fools. — Russell Baker
Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say that what we really need is a car that… — Russell Baker
I still think I'm like the poor girl from Colorado who worked three jobs to buy a car. That's still… — Amy Adams
The American Dream has run out of gas. The car has stopped. It no longer supplies the world with its… — J. G. Ballard

See all 3,664 Car Quotes »