"Babies aren't dishwasher-safe."
—
Daniel Tosh
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89 Quotes by Daniel Tosh
Daniel Tosh has 89 quotes on this site.
A few more worth reading:
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I'm not honest, but you're interesting!
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I don't want to develop a personality, just cut my face! Stretch it and staple it. Now I'm happy, or…
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I was drinking tea the other day, and I thought: they used to fight wars over this.
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I came up with my own expression. I like to make it hail. Yeah. That's when you throw change on…
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I’m a Bad Test Taker…you mean you’re stupid?
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I'm a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I am perfect!
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Wouldn't it be funny if that girl got raped by like, 5 guys right now? Like right now? What if…
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The national anthem blows. Are you kidding me? Do any of you have it on your iPod?
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Men who don't understand women fall into two groups: Bachelors and Husbands.
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Women can do anything men can do. Except math, chess, running, jumping, lifting stuff, fixing things, making money, hockey, surfing,…
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Bill Hicks is a huge influence. I love him.
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The great thing about Los Angeles is that you can get so much money in this town by constantly failing.…
See all 89 quotes by Daniel Tosh »
More Babies Quotes
This quote is filed under Babies Quotes,
one of 838 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:
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Apart from anything else, I am designed by evolution, like we all are: if we see a little thing like…
— David Attenborough
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If you were to open up a baby's head - and I am not for a moment suggesting that you…
— Dave Barry
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I do believe babies are born potty-trained. They're born knowing and are able to give subtle signals that become very…
— Mayim Bialik
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There should be a worldwide law, in my opinion, that mothers should breastfeed their babies for six months.
— Gisele Bundchen
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Father asked us what was God's noblest work. Anna said men, but I said babies. Men are often bad, but…
— Louisa May Alcott
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My mother goes crazy over babies. Some people just do. They love 'em! I never have. Babies scare me more…
— Margaret Cho
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It is the nature of babies to be in bliss.
— Deepak Chopra
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The tabloids, instead of being about alien babies and stuff, it's my triplets, quadruplets, marriages, feuds.
— Jennifer Aniston
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Once you leave the womb, conservatives don't care about you until you reach military age. Then you're just what they're…
— George Carlin
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The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the…
— Rajneesh
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"I call them april babies cause they fools"
— Lil Wayne
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I always wondered why babies spend so much time sucking their thumbs. Then I tasted baby food.
— Robert Orben
See all 838 Babies Quotes »