"Seeing your mother naked is not something you……" — Chelsea Handler
"Seeing your mother naked is not something you easily recover from. Seeing your mother naked and jumping from one side of a king-sized bed to the other with a nurse's hat on while your father, who is also naked, is chasing her with a bandanna around his neck, is reason to put yourself up for adoption."
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Chelsea Handler
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107 Quotes by Chelsea Handler
Chelsea Handler has 107 quotes on this site.
A few more worth reading:
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First of all, who cares if people hate you? There's always a guarantee that certain people will dislike you. There's…
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It's been my experience that people who make proclamations about themselves are usually the opposite of what they claim to…
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I had an abortion when I was 16. Because that's what I should have done. Otherwise I would now have…
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Sometimes, Chelsea, I wonder, how you get by from day to day. It's a good thing you're so voluptuous.
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I'm not that shallow, asshole. I don't need money. It's way more important for them to be good-looking.
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Even if times are tough and you're enduring a terrible heartache, it's important to focus your anger on a vibrator,…
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My whole life is reading tabloid magazines. It’s really sad, because that’s what my show is all about — what…
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Paris Hilton has launched a new champagne in a can called Rich Prosecco. For the ad campaign Paris posed wearing…
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Paris Hilton is one of the hosts for Nicole Richie’s baby shower, and they’re serving sushi. Awesome, Paris—sushi, the one…
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Thanksgiving is coming. I wonder what the holiday will be like at Dog the Bounty Hunter’s house—obviously, they’ll have a…
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A Catholic priest who’s been sending threatening notes to Conan O’Brien was charged with stalking in the fourth degree. It…
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Angelina Jolie’s older brother James Haven, the one she made out with, has a license plate on his SUV that…
See all 107 quotes by Chelsea Handler »
More Adoption Quotes
This quote is filed under Adoption Quotes,
one of 220 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:
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Never let your sense of morals get in the way of doing what's right.
— Isaac Asimov
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He that will not apply new remedies must expect new evils; for time is the greatest innovator.
— Francis Bacon
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Nothing is impossible,' said one of the seven sages of Greece, 'to industry.' Let us change the word, 'industry,' to…
— Adoniram Judson
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State Farm is pleased to support the Common Core State Standards Initiative. State by State adoption of these standards is…
— Edward B. Rust, Jr.
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Abortion is an act of desperation. It's an awful solution to a situation that God can work out for good…
— Bob Carlisle
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I think it is a worthy goal in America to have every child protected by law and welcomed in life.…
— George W. Bush
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Gay adoption is discrimination against children
— Pope Francis
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There are people who've said that I'm being brave for being openly supportive of gay marriage, gay adoption... With all…
— Anne Hathaway
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Next came the patent laws. These began in England in 1624, and in this country with the adoption of our…
— Abraham Lincoln
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You see how many are the benefits of baptism, and some think its heavenly grace consists only in the remission…
— Saint John Chrysostom
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We have been adopted as sons by the Lord with this one condition; that our life expresses Christ, the bond…
— John Calvin
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I definitely thought about it long and hard, about if I wanted to keep the baby or not, and I…
— Kourtney Kardashian
See all 220 Adoption Quotes »