Best Wife Lines

4100 Wife quotes by 2539 unique authors

Success is like dealing with your kid or teaching your wife to drive. Sooner or later you'll end up in the police station. — Fred Allen
Many a man owes his success to his first wife and his second wife to his success. — Jim Backus
I think the true gardener is a lover of his flowers, not a critic of them. I think the true gardener is the reverent servant… — Reginald Farrer
The sobs and tears of joy he had not foreseen rose with such force within him that his whole body shook and for a long… — Leo Tolstoy
Not everyone is comfortable with the kissing ritual. My husband is one of them. Her refuses to press lips with anyone except his wife, mother,… — Erma Bombeck
My first wife didn't like to fly, either. — Gordon Baxter
Exactly. She does not shine as a wife even in her own account of what occurred. I am not a whole-souled admirer of womankind, as… — Arthur Conan Doyle
Wife-Mother-Actress-Author The world will remember. — Eve Arden
Women's rights in essence is really a movement for freedom, a movement for equality, for the dignity of all women, for those who work outside… — William Ruckelshaus
As ridiculous to approve of property and let a few men have a grossly unfair share of it, as say you are all for marriage,… — Katharine Whitehorn
Well, I've lost my wife. I've lost my job. I've lost 20 MINUTES OF MY LIFE! Damn the decaf. — Dave Foley
He went home one evening and drank three cups of tea with three lumps of sugar in each cup, cut his jugular with a razor… — Flann O'Brien
My wife made me join a bridge club... I jump off next Tuesday. — Rodney Dangerfield
Buying my wife a gun sort of like me saying, ' You know, I kinda want to kill myself, but I want it to be… — Marc Maron
A mother is a mother all of your life,but a father is a father only when he has a wife. — Leah Ward Sears
To the man-in-the-street, who, I'm sorry to say, is a keen observer of life. The word Intellectual suggests straight away. A man who's untrue to… — Wystan Hugh Auden
I myself and my wife - in order to escape the disgrace of deposition or capitulation - choose death. It is our wish to be… — Adolf Hitler
My wife is so analytical with raising kids, and I am not. My feeling is if they turn out good, then that means I was… — Jeff Foxworthy
A good one iron shot is about as easy to come by as an understanding wife. — Dan Jenkins
Honolulu, it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother. — Ken Dodd
A system in which the two great commandments are to hate your neighbor and to love your neighbor's wife. — Thomas B. Macaulay
Every time I see you naked, I feel sorry for your wife. — Jaromir Jagr
I don't think so. Anyways, I don't spend money. My wife spends money...sorry wife. — Unknown Author
Hockey has given me everything, most importantly it brought me to Swift Current, where I met my wife Deb. — Joe Sakic
[Chuck's wife] was standing behind me at the time and she said, 'Chuck hasn't fed himself in 19 years. So, you've got a choice: We… — Dean Kamen

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