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Into Quotes by Bill Maher
- A lot of people have warned President Clinton that Bosnia will turn into another Vietnam, which would be embarrassing for him because he'll have to…
- New Rule: This Valentine’s Day Americans must remember that politicians are like a box of chocolates. We bite into them to find out what's on…
- We learned this week that Mitt Romney is building a car elevator in his house. An elevator for your cars. I get the feeling this…
- African American Congressman Bobby Rush wore a hoodie on the floor of Congress to make a point this week. And they threw him out. They…
- This week Sarah Palin's memoir became a bestseller. It's not even out yet. It's being translated into English.
- Over the last 30 odd years, Democrats have moved to the right and the right has moved into the mental hospital. So what we have…
- Religion, it stops people from thinking because they think all the answers are in that one book; it impedes progress; it justifies crazy people. Flying…
- If I thought the Lord was speaking to me I'd check myself into Bellevue, and I think you should too.
- What I have against religion is that they start you when you are so defenseless. I mean, I was three when they started pumping this…
- North Carolina right now is going apeshit in a way no state ever has. Take every crazy, angry idea your drunk, right-wing uncle mumbles at…
- Americans are gluttons. We shop with forklifts. We have a holiday where we stuff food into other food. Our strippers wrestle in Jell-O, where other…
- Do you think if it was the fairy tale about a man who lived inside of a whale and it was religion that Jack built…
- I think that religion stops people from thinking. I think it justifies crazies. I think flying planes into a building was a faith-based initiative. I…
- At some point in the last 20 years, the left moved to the center, and the right moved into a mental institution.
- Halloween is a day when we all get to fool people into thinking we're someone else. Or as Mitt Romney calls it, campaigning.
- I'm not into western medicine. That to me is a complete scare tactic.
- I think flying planes into a building was a faith-based initiative. I think religion is a neurological disorder.
- Things aren't right. If a burglar breaks into your home and you shoot him, he can sue you. For what, restraint of trade?
- You know what happens when windmills collapse into the sea? A splash.
- I wouldn't touch a hot dog unless you put a condom on it! You realize that the job of a hot dog is to use…
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