Douche Quotes

35 quotes by 34 authors

Justin Bieber is a douche bag. Now that I have your attention, let's talk about cars. — Corey Taylor
I GOT A LONG ROAD AHEAD OF ME TO MAKE PEOPLE BELIEVE I'M NOT ACTUALLY A HUGE DOUCHE. — Kanye West
When you're not in love, when you don't have love, everybody you know falls in love on like the same day - even Karen the… — Dane Cook
Yeah Jesus could turn water in to wine, but he didn't share. Douche. — Anthony Langston
Now that 'Scrubs' is over, people seem to feel more comfortable telling me that I was a total douche to them for the past 8… — Zach Braff
Method rules his training, which blends the physical with the mental. How many chess masters put in, prior to an important match, an allotted time… — Hans Kmoch
Gentlemen, a depression is for capitalism like a good, cold douche. — Joseph A. Schumpeter
Father' is such an arbitary word. Douche bag, on the other hand... — Becca Fitzpatrick
Granuaile looked terminally depressed when she emerged from the bathroom with raven hair and, as a result rather Goth by accident. She didn't want to… — Kevin Hearne
Granuaile:"So why don't cult leaders achieve godhood?" Atticus:" Because they're megalomaniacs drenched in douche juice. — Kevin Hearne
you're smart, pretty, and you aren't a douche purse. — Gena Showalter
And he paddled away in his douche canoe. — Joe Hill
Life is too short to date a douche bag. — ProudLesbian
People can not stop asking me why do I keep being single. I respond to them asking why do they date the first douche that… — Joana L
Im sorry, I have commitment issues. Dont worry babe, just because I have trouble being with someone and NOT messing around with someone else, doesnt… — Broken Soul
If you judge someone from the brand of their clothes then you're the douche bag. — Thewomenizer
April is tax month. If you are having trouble filing your taxes, then you should hire an accountant. They'll give you the same advice that… — Ed Helms
Nobody likes you. You're ugly and your mother dresses you funny. Now smile you f*****g douche! — Hank Moody
Monday seems like it was only yesterday, and I was head over heals for you. But now its Friday, and your just a douche. Now… — Anna Miller
I had that one guy who could make me feel like I was walking on water.. But no, that douche bag had that incredible power,… — Amy-leigh Cairns

Who Wrote These Douche Quotes

34 authors contributed a total of 35 Douche Quotes, led by these top contributors: