Quote by Bridget Zinn

“I have a mustache like a squirrel and you just ran over my face.”

— Jarod Kintz

“I didn’t have time to grow out a mustache, so I wore a squirrel to the party. Women looked at me like they knew…

— Jarod Kintz

“I don’t just have one mustache, I have two. You can hardly notice them, though, because I wear them in place of my eyebrows,…

— Jarod Kintz

“I loved his goatee even more than his mustache. It was so soft and white. I wanted to rub my face in it. I…

— Jerry Spinelli

“Right now I have a milk mustache. I grew it on a cattle ranch, and then glued it to my face.”

— Jarod Kintz

“He sneers so regularly that I suspect he shaves his mustache only to spare his nose the whisker burn.”

— Meredith Duran

“Look, rodent.” At least she could still talk.. “Either chop off my ears so I’m not subjected to your verbal projectiles or clench your…

— Auden Johnson

“I just bought an extra large mustache, to wear as a toupee.”

— Jarod Kintz

“You're just jealous of my beard." "No. No, really not. It makes you look like you've got a ferret trying to shag your chin.”

— FayJay

“It's so cute, isn't it?" Arianna said dreamily. "Are we seeing the same creature? It's like a demented goat with a bone growth.”

— Kiersten White

“That being said, I will throw on the occasional false mustache.”

— It Books

“Mustaches are so cool that I not only have one—I have two. I wear both of mine above my eyes.”

— Jarod Kintz