"You could take Vicodin, step out of the……" — Bill Engvall
"You could take Vicodin, step out of the house, onto a freeway, have a truck hit you, and you'd say 'My Bad!'"
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Bill Engvall
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23 Quotes by Bill Engvall
Bill Engvall has 23 quotes on this site.
A few more worth reading:
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My wife and I had an argument last week that was so stupid, that it bears repeating. My wife collects…
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There's a group in California that wants to make suicide a capital offense punishable by death. That's like punishing someone…
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I called my wife up on the cell phone and said baby you aint gonna believe this, i go, we…
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I go "I just want a cup of black coffee." She goes "Do you want to try a biscotti? They're…
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He knows all the golf lingo. You know? You hit your ball, he's like "there's a golf shot. That's a…
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I've come up with the three things you never want to hear at your kid's parent/teacher conference. Number one: 'You're…
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Ketchup is great on hamburgers, but if some gets on your shirt, that does not make your shirt also a…
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I might have tried bungee jumping, until I saw that video of that guy whose cord came untied. He didn't…
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So finally, on about the fifteenth tee, I hit the drive of my life. And any of you people who…
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Hat's why they're man's best friend. 'Cause guys want buddies that are dumber than they are. So do women, but…
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This guy from L.A. sits down next to me, and he says 'you like baseball?' I said, 'Oh, man, I…
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I hit two trees and fell down a ditch. And that was just walking from the lodge.
See all 23 quotes by Bill Engvall »
More Bad Quotes
This quote is filed under Bad Quotes,
one of 14,431 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:
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I went through a phase where I thought nostalgia was a bad thing.
— Dario Argento
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Characteristics of a popular politician: a horrible voice, bad breeding, and a vulgar manner.
— Aristophanes
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Bad men are full of repentance.
— Aristotle
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It is the role of good journalism to take on powerful abusers, and when powerful abusers are taken on, there's…
— Julian Assange
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Bad things are not the worst things that can happen to us. Nothing is the worst thing that can happen…
— Richard Bach
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I would not suggest the U.S. should sit down with the North Koreans bilaterally immediately after they've fired missiles -…
— Richard Armitage
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There are some forms of religion that are bad, just as there's bad cooking or bad art or bad sex,…
— Karen Armstrong
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If my forgeries looked as bad as the CBS documents, it would have been 'Catch Me In Two Days'.
— Frank Abagnale
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People that go through what I went through and people going through divorce, it's really a difficulty process; it's heartbreaking…
— David Arquette
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If I were to say, 'God, why me?' about the bad things, then I should have said, 'God, why me?'…
— Arthur Ashe
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From my close observation of writers... they fall into two groups: 1) those who bleed copiously and visibly at any…
— Isaac Asimov
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The problem with leaderless uprisings taking over is that you don't always know what you get at the other end.…
— Chinua Achebe
See all 14,431 Bad Quotes »