My mother always said don't marry for money, divorce for money. — Wendy Liebman Divorce Copy Share Image
My husband wanted one of those big-screen TVs for his birthday. So I just moved his chair closer to the one we… — Wendy Liebman Big screen Copy Share Image
I just got my first bikini. It's a three-piece: a top, a botton, and a blindfold for you. — Wendy Liebman Bikini Copy Share Image
Just figuring it out for 30 years - 30 years... I think I'm ready now to expand - to grow. — Wendy Liebman Grow Copy Share Image
I get my sense of humor from my parents. That's why they don't have one anymore. — Wendy Liebman Humor Copy Share Image
Is there a doctor in the house? My parents want me to marry you. — Wendy Liebman Doctor Copy Share Image
People always come up to me and say that my smoking is bothering them…well it's killing me! — Wendy Liebman Bothering Copy Share Image
I spend a lot of time on Facebook and Twitter writing all day long because I feel it's my job to entertain… — Wendy Liebman Day Copy Share Image
My husband and I had recently been in a car accident, and I came out of that experience with more clarity about… — Wendy Liebman Car Copy Share Image
I love being a housewife... I love doing laundry. Except I have a little bit of separation anxiety, and you have to… — Wendy Liebman Being Copy Share Image
I don't think I was funny until college. I lived with some Harvard MD/PhD students - they were so smart, and what… — Wendy Liebman College Copy Share Image
I would love to do a sitcom. I see myself as an older woman, getting married, and her stepchildren, who are in… — Wendy Liebman Getting married Copy Share Image
I've been pitching a show of five female stand-up comedians through the generations, from Phyllis Diller to Amy Schumer, so when I… — Wendy Liebman Amy Copy Share Image
I think there have always been funny women, from Carol Burnett to Joan Rivers. When the audience sees a woman, they innately… — Wendy Liebman Audience Copy Share Image
I go running when I have to. When the ice cream truck is doing sixty. — Wendy Liebman Cream Copy Share Image
People ask me if they can send me material, and some people give or send it to me unsolicited, but I rarely… — Wendy Liebman Comedy Copy Share Image
Most of my childhood is a big blur, 'cause I needed better glasses. — Wendy Liebman Better Copy Share Image
I don't like to channel surf. You guys like it, don't you. You guys like to change the channel. We like to… — Wendy Liebman Channel Copy Share Image
I want to be more myself. Sometimes it takes awhile to find your voice. — Wendy Liebman Awhile Copy Share Image
I went to the 30th reunion of my preschool. I didn't want to go, because I've put on like a hundred pounds. — Wendy Liebman Empowerment Copy Share Image
I'm going to get married again because I'm more mature now, and I need some kitchen stuff. — Wendy Liebman Funny marriage Copy Share Image
I used to write jokes with friends. We'd pick a topic and then think out loud, brainstorm. — Wendy Liebman Brainstorm Copy Share Image
The audience loves when the comedian talks to them. You're creating inside jokes, which creates a community. — Wendy Liebman Audience Copy Share Image
The only way to really have safe sex is to abstain. From drinking. — Wendy Liebman Abstain Copy Share Image
I think it's never too late to start anything, except maybe being a ballerina. — Wendy Liebman Ballerina Copy Share Image
My sister and I had a lemonade stand - with a two-drink minimum. — Wendy Liebman Had Copy Share Image
I think I'd be a good mother. Maybe a little overprotective. Like I would never let the kid out, of my body. — Wendy Liebman Good mother Copy Share Image
In addition to comedy, I'm a writer. I write checks. They're not very good. — Wendy Liebman Checks Copy Share Image
At one point, I wrote 20 jokes a day, and I had a commitment to send them to the same three people.… — Wendy Liebman Comedy Copy Share Image
My parents used to bring me to Radio City when I was a little girl, so performing there 50 years later was… — Wendy Liebman City Copy Share Image
I found out why cats drink out of the toilet. My mother told me it's because the water is cold in there.… — Wendy Liebman Cat Copy Share Image
A couple of weeks ago, I did karaoke and got nervous in a way I hadn't gotten nervous in 25 years. I'm… — Wendy Liebman Animal Copy Share Image
I took an acting class. After the first day, the teacher quit, so they said take another. When I saw 'How to… — Wendy Liebman Acting Copy Share Image
When I want to make someone laugh in real life (as opposed to when I'm on stage where I tell one-liners), I… — Wendy Liebman Comedy Copy Share Image
