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Portrait of Ryan Stiles

Ryan Stiles

(1959) Television Actor United States

34 quotes in 215 categories

Ryan Stiles is a television actor from the United States.

Quick Facts About Ryan Stiles

Born: April 22, 1959
Nationality: United States
Profession: Television Actor

About Ryan Stiles

Ryan Lee Stiles is an American-Canadian comedian and actor. His work is often associated with improvisational comedy. He is best known for his work on Whose Line Is It Anyway and for his role as Lewis Kiniski on The Drew Carey Show. He also played Herb Melnick on the CBS comedy Two and a Half Men and was a performer on the show Drew Carey's Improv-A-Ganza.

Biography source: Wikipedia

Quotes by Ryan Stiles

Never trust sheep.

Never

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I did standup for a lot of years, too, but when you come out as a standup, you get the feeling from…

Actually

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I wasn't particularly funny in high school, but I grew up with three older brothers who were quite funny.

Brothers

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Quiet! I'm expressing myself!

Quiet

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That is raw dough. Never eat raw dough. They can make worms in your tummy. Worms in your tummy.

Dough

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If I could rap, that would be a sensation, but I can't, you see, I'm just a Caucasian.

Could

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If I were as much of a man as my woman, I'd be my wife.

Marriage

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Drew's a funny guy. Because anything he gets into, he gets in 100%. Even when we were doing 'The Drew Carey Show,'…

Anything

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I can't sprinkle sprinkles on. I lose control when I have sprinkles. I'm shaky. I still remember the great sprinkle accident of 1982.

Accident

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If I were like your mother, I would be a woman.

Like

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I'm going to buy some green bananas because by the time I get home they'll be ripe.

Bananas

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If I were a man with gills, I would be a fish!

Fishes

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Back off or the lizard gets it!

Back

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Never interrupt me when I'm eating a banana.

Bananas

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The sky, the sky beyond the door is bluuuuuuue!

Doors

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The sky, the sky beyond the door is blue.

Beyond

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The first rule to living in America is 'Stop tap dancing, you fool!'.

America

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I wasnt particularly funny in high school, but I grew up with three older brothers who were quite funny.

Brother

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On 'Whose Line,' we had six, seven, eight scenes per show, so everything was pretty quick. And there's a lot of games…

Eight

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The good news is your surgery was a success and now you look like a movie star! The bad news is that…

Bad news

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Two thongs don't make a right.

Thongs

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You know, I've got a confession to make myself. I'm not really a priest, I've just got my shirt on backwards.

Backwards

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What do I do when we're not taping? Sit in a dark room and refine my plans for someday ruling Earth from…

Blimps

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We're expecting a lot of rain in the state of Oregon, so let's just get rid of Oregon.

Expecting

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I cant sprinkle sprinkles on. I lose control when I have sprinkles. Im shaky. I still remember the great sprinkle accident of 1982.

Accidents

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