For decades in America, there has been an effort to ensure that the rights of those who are not sane are the… — P. J. O'Rourke America Copy Share Image
Although computer-generated artificial intelligence eludes us, artificial stupidity has been perfected. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
When politics are used to allocate resources, the resources all end up being allocated to politics. — P. J. O'Rourke Allocate Copy Share Image
Obama, in pursuit of power, has been as greedy and irresponsible as any Wall Street tycoon in pursuit of money. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Nothing bad is going to happen to us. If we get fired, it's not failure; its a midlife vocational reassessment. — P. J. O'Rourke Failure Copy Share Image
Don't send funny greeting cards on birthdays or at Christmas. Save them for funerals when their cheery effect is needed. — P. J. O'Rourke Birthday Copy Share Image
In case we have to shoot Democrats. It happened during the Civil War, and it could happen again. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The Democrats planned to fiddle while Rome burned. The Republicans were going to burn Rome, then fiddle. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The library, with its Daedalian labyrinth, mysterious hush, and faintly ominous aroma of knowledge, has been replaced by the computer's cheap glow,… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Death is so important that God visited death upon his own son, thereby helping us learn right from wrong well enough that… — P. J. O'Rourke Death Copy Share Image
The body is forever teaching us lessons. There are all sorts of things that we can't do, shouldn't do, had better not… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Everything on a boat has a different name than it would have if it weren't on a boat. Either this is ancient… — P. J. O'Rourke Ancient Copy Share Image
Richard Nixon was the best thing that ever happened to journalism. I mean this guy was wonderful. Just when you thought he… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Lampoon ran out of steam in the early '80s, and wasn't able to reinvent itself because it ran out of talent. People… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
We won't dispassionately investigate or rationally debate which drugs do what damage and whether or how much of that damage is the… — P. J. O'Rourke Damage Copy Share Image
The difference between corporations and governments is governments have a monopoly on force. It's a lot easier to vote with your feet… — P. J. O'Rourke Corporations Copy Share Image
Daniel Patrick Moynihan is the archetypal extremely smart person who went into politics anyway instead of doing something worthwhile for his country. — P. J. O'Rourke Country Copy Share Image
Soccer matches should be something special, something people eagerly look forward to, something that brightens life. — P. J. O'Rourke Eagerly Copy Share Image
Just because a subject is serious doesn't mean it doesn't have plenty of absurdities. — P. J. O'Rourke Absurd Copy Share Image
My dad died when I was young; my mom remarried with more haste than sense to a fellow... he wasn't evil or… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Long conversations with pals when neither you nor they have had a drink can be a test of palship. — P. J. O'Rourke Communication Copy Share Image
Art Nouveau got its inspiration from nature. The Bauhaus got its inspiration from engineering. — P. J. O'Rourke Art Copy Share Image
No Americans wants to see somebody lose their house because of health bills. Their boat? Maybe. Maybe the boat. But not the… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Detroit's industrial ruins are picturesque, like crumbling Rome in an 18th-century etching. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I have never been to a museum in Hong Kong, or a movie or a play. I've never gone club-hopping. I've never… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The best and brightest don't go into politics. The best and brightest are at Goldman Sachs. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Anyone who thinks he has a better idea of what's good for people than people do is a swine. — P. J. O'Rourke Good people Copy Share Image
Sometimes the right response to evil is an appeal to powerful and effective social organization - an appeal to civilization itself. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Simply because something is a populist movement doesn't make it either good or bad. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I usually agree with Rush Limbaugh; therefore I usually don't listen to him. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Keeping house is as unpleasant and filthy as coal mining, and the pay's a lot worse. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
How did an allegedly free people spawn a vast, rampant cuttlefish of dominion with its tentacles in every orifice of the body… — P. J. O'Rourke Body Copy Share Image
We Americans, who invented traffic, are always being startled by the forms into which it has evolved around the world. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
When you're a war correspondent, the reader is for you because the reader is saying, 'Gee, I wouldn't want to be doing… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
America's grossly unfair tax system won't lead to class war. Or, if it does, the war will be brief. — P. J. O'Rourke America Copy Share Image
In Washington journalists can afford to live almost as well as people who work for a living. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
There's such a self-conscious balance that goes into television. Also, these are not people that think things through. — P. J. O'Rourke Balance Copy Share Image
Infant mortality and life expectancy are reasonable indicators of general well-being in a society. — P. J. O'Rourke Death Copy Share Image
Politics should be limited in scope to ware, protection of property, and the occasional precautionary beheading of a member of the ruling… — P. J. O'Rourke Class Copy Share Image
We should never hesitate to listen to a fool about life because life is pretty foolish as far as I can tell. — P. J. O'Rourke Fool Copy Share Image
