Funny golf Quotes

My body is here, but my mind has already teed off.

— Keith Michael

Baseball reveals character; golf exposes it.

— Ernie Banks

The harder you work, the luckier you become.

— Carl Karcher

Sex is the most fun you can have without smiling.

— Madonna Ciccone

Never admit that your back goes out more than you do

— Joan Rivers

The more you play it the less you know about it.

— Patty Berg

The woods are full of long drivers.

— Harvey Penick

My father's saying, The harder you work, the luckier you get.

— Fiona Wood

Sex and golf are the two things you can enjoy even if you're not good at them.

— Kevin Costner

Putting allows the touchy golfer two to four opportunities to blow a gasket in the short space of two to forty feet.

— Tommy Bolt

You know you're on the Senior Tour when your back goes out more than you do.

— Bob Bruce

It takes hundreds of good golf shots to gain confidence, but only one bad one to lose it.

— Jack Nicklaus

I just hope I don't have to explain all the times I've used His name in vain when I get up there.

— Bob Hope

This is a game of misses. The guy who misses the best is going to win.

— Ben Hogan

I'm about five inches from being an outstanding golfer. That's the distance my left ear is from my right.

— Ben Crenshaw

Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at it.

— Jimmy Demaret

Golf is the closest game to the game we call life. You get bad breaks from good shots; you get good breaks…

— Bobby Jones

And I say, 'Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know.' And he says, 'Oh,…

— Bill Murray

It's so ridiculous to see a golfer with a one foot putt and everybody is saying "Shhh" and not moving a muscle.…

— Al McGuire

The trouble that most of us find with the modern matched sets of clubs is that they don't really seem to know…

— Robert Browning

Golf is a hard game to figure. One day you will go out and slice it and shank it, hit into all…

— Bob Hope

Golf is a funny game. It's done much for health, and at the same time has ruined people by robbing them of…

— Bob Hope

Drugs are very much a part of professional sports today, but when you think about it, golf is the only sport where…

— Bob Hope

Luck is predictable; the harder you work, the luckier you get.

— Brian Tracy

May thy ball lie in green pastures, and not in still waters.

— Ben Hogan

Half of golf is fun; the other half is putting.

— Peter Dobereiner

I never learned anything from a match that I won.

— Bobby Jones

I'm the best. I just haven't played yet.

— Muhammad Ali

The best wood in most amateurs' bags is the pencil.

— Chi Chi Rodriguez

Playing golf is like chasing a quinine pill around a cow pasture.

— Winston Churchill

Golf is the most fun you can have with out taking your clothes off.

— Chi Chi Rodriguez

Golf tip: Lay off for three weeks and then quit for good.

— Sam Snead

My swing is so bad I look like a caveman killing his lunch.

— Lee Trevino

Most people play a fair game of golf - If you watch them.

— Anonymous

The most important shot in golf is the next one.

— Ben Hogan

Golf's three ugliest words: still your shot.

— Dave Marr

You swing your best when you have the fewest things to think about.

— Bobby Jones

Nobody ever remembers who finished second at anything.

— Jack Nicklaus

That putt had more breaks than a government job.

— Brian Weiss

Golf is the cruelest game, because eventually it will drag you out in front of the whole school, take your lunch money…

— Rick Reilly