My wife always bring these injured animals to home. I think she should just stop driving. — Nikhil Saluja Animals Copy Share Image
Remember when being nice, real & inspiring paid off? Me neither. — Nikhil Saluja Inspiring Copy Share Image
Stupidity is like art. Everyone can do it, but only the truly gifted are masters at it. — Nikhil Saluja Art Copy Share Image
Everytime someone tweet 'Love is in the air' I usually go & shave my balls. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
I'm not usually superstitious, but I really hope 13/13/13 isn't a Friday — Nikhil Saluja Friday Copy Share Image
I swear I have some Bruce Lee somewhere in me... He comes out whenever I drop my phone. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I can't listen to the radio. Every love song reminds me of you. It hurts. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
I like to make chicks laugh so hard they accidentally put my penis into their mouth. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
The only thing a woman is good at fixing is her man a motherfucking sandwich. — Nikhil Saluja Feminism Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE, A group which consists of: a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If beer and women aren't the right answer, you're asking the wrong question. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I hate when girls say You probably say that to 100 girls. Don't you use the same résumé when applying for jobs? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If Men Got Pregnant: Menus at most restaurants would list ice cream and pickles as an entree. — Nikhil Saluja Ice cream Copy Share Image
If you love somebody let them go. Just make sure you install a tracking device in their ass first. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Following twitter celebrities is exactly like realizing that the pretty girl talking to you works for playboy. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Here is a strategy; Follow someone, they follow you back, you unfollow them. -A douchebag with mental issues on Twitter. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Honey, please help me find a match for this sock. What for? Are you going to set it on fire? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
My mom at night: Goodnight my love, sweet dreams. In the morning: WAKE THE FUCK UP YOU LITTLE SHIT — Nikhil Saluja Dreams Copy Share Image
I murdered a vagina once. I still wake up in the middle of the night, sweating, seeing its bleeding face. — Nikhil Saluja Middle of the night Copy Share Image
I'm shocked at the number of people telling me to get a life. I mean, who told them that I don't have… — Nikhil Saluja Life Copy Share Image
LOVE, Something which combines the two greatest powers on earth -- war and peace; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Finally found the clitoris! Thanks to my family, friends and you guys for all the support! — Nikhil Saluja Clitoris Copy Share Image
My girl went away for the weekend, and I didn't masturbate once. I masturbated 21 times. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
They always say to treat people the way you want to be treated. So far, I've given 4 handjobs today. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
Somewhere in the world there's a fat guy jumping in a pool with his shirt on. This tweet is for you fat… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
There's still some ice cream left in my freezer, I think today's gonna be ok — Nikhil Saluja Food Copy Share Image
Learn the wisdom of compromise for it is better to bent a little than to break. — Nikhil Saluja Compromise Copy Share Image
Best reply for denying a proposal : I like you my friend but love is something tat gives pain and I cant… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
WRINKLES: Something other people have, Similar to my character lines. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
Who needs the zoo when you can go to Walmart and see camel toes for free. — Nikhil Saluja Animal Copy Share Image
We can't kiss our elbow is enough to make us realize that some things in life are very close to us,but still… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Me after just cleaning my room: Wow I am never letting my room get messy again! The next day: Has anyone seen… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Accidentally listened to a Justin Bieber song and now I'm shooting down strangers with the machine gun on my truck. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
When life hands you lemons, squeeze lemon juice into your eyes without blinking. Just to let life know you don't play around. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Running is healthier than walking, especially when her husband comes home early! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
You weren't put on this earth to please other people. Live your life and eliminate all of the stress. — Nikhil Saluja Being true to yourself Copy Share Image
Never trust the 'doubted ones' and never doubt the 'trusted Ones'. You have 'real eyes' to realize the 'real-lies'. — Nikhil Saluja Real eyes Copy Share Image
Guys: If you ever get the chance to bang a blind chick, trust me, always finish on her face. She'll never see… — Nikhil Saluja Blind Copy Share Image
If there's one thing that I've learned it's that I should know more than one thing. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
LOOK OUT!: What it's too late for your child to do by the time you scream it. — Nikhil Saluja Alcohol Copy Share Image
