I hate it when I do something like a ninja and there is nobody around to see! — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I climb up your bathroom window again? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Argument (ar*gyou*ment) n. -- A discussion that occurs when you're right, but he just hasn't realized it yet. — Nikhil Saluja Argument Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE, Is made out of two toothbrushes but a single tube of toothpaste; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Both my girlfriend AND wife are out of town this week! Time to go find some lucky lady to nibble on my… — Nikhil Saluja Girlfriend Copy Share Image
Any man can lick pussy, but it takes a real man to lick her asshole. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I once arm wrestled the Incredible Hulk. The loser had to paint himself green. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
The most precious thing we have is life. Yet it has absolutely no trade-in value. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
Dear fat chicks in tight ass clothes, You look like a half opened can of biscuits. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
One thing nice about being dead is that you immediately become eligible to appear on stamps and money. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
After cooking dinner tonight, I realized there is no straight way to wash a carrot. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
MALE PRAYER I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with huge boobs who owns a liquor store. Amen. — Nikhil Saluja Pray Copy Share Image
Still not sure what's worse, getting stoned to death or my phone running out of battery. — Nikhil Saluja Death Copy Share Image
The only thing a woman wants people saying behind her back is nice ass. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
For all the young girls getting tattoos, Remember: A butterfly on the back becomes a buzzard in the crack when you get… — Nikhil Saluja Butterfly Copy Share Image
Typing the word your on Twitter when you mean you are is very dangerous. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I think my GirlFriend got a magical car. She just turned it into a lake. Stupid cunt... — Nikhil Saluja Girlfriend Copy Share Image
So you have an inspiring bio about being the change that you want to be in this world, you're an asshole. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
WIFE, A woman who can spot a blond hair on her husband's coat from ten feet away but can never see a… — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
Okay. - the only thing ever said by guys in Sex, Shower and Sandwitch. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when somebody has to explain the tweet they just posted. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Getting HIV and spreading it to everyone else, is my way of making the world a more positive place. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Let's share this pizza and pretend we won't rip each other's head for the last slice. — Nikhil Saluja Pizza Copy Share Image
Every time I see someone acting like a fucking idiot, I automatically assume they're Justin Beiber fan. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I learned to stop trusting the angel on my shoulder when I caught her fucking the devil on my other one. — Nikhil Saluja Angel Copy Share Image
A microfuck is the smallest unit of fucks you can give. That's 1 one millionth of a fuck... and I still don't… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
This guy on his bike next to me was insulting me by picking his nose, so I gave him the middle finger.… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Acc. to me the moms of the ugly girls who think they're pretty are responsible to make them believe that in the… — Nikhil Saluja First place Copy Share Image
Marriage paralyzes men from the neck up and women from the waist down. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
'Unfollowers' Spelled backwards is srewollofnu. Which sounds like screw all of you. Coincidence? I think not — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If God Was A Woman… Foreplay would not be a quick slap on the fanny and a kiss on the cheek — Nikhil Saluja Foreplay Copy Share Image
A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart. — Nikhil Saluja Funny Copy Share Image
Trying too hard to get my attention is the quickest way to make sure you get none of it. — Nikhil Saluja Attention Copy Share Image
If God Was A Woman… All menstrual cycles would be replaced with a 5-8 day vacation in Hawaii! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I was going to shoot myself a minute ago but your inspirational tweet showed me the light. — Nikhil Saluja Inspiration Copy Share Image
Nothing is sadder than a guy who complains on Facebook about how shitty his sex life is. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
Today is Monday and most of you are at work, but don't worry because I hate your job too. — Nikhil Saluja Monday Copy Share Image
I just want to be rich enough to where I can wipe my ass with toilet paper. — Nikhil Saluja Money Copy Share Image
