A fun thing to do during sex is to stop right in the middle of it to vomit. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
My friends call me DiCaprio because my farts sound like that sound in the Inception trailer. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
People with more than 50,000 tweets should officially be declared as Senior Citizens of Twitter. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Politicians are like bananas when they first come in they're green, then they turn yellow, and finally they're rotten! — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
Some day I'm going to achieve greatness in life and be able to fill my oil tank all the way. — Nikhil Saluja Achieve greatness Copy Share Image
What's the point of going out? We're just going to wind up back here anyway. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
It's funny how sometimes we miss somebody but when that somebody shows up, we do nothing. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Dear ugly chicks, If you ever feel that you hate your life, don't worry, you are not alone. I hate your life… — Nikhil Saluja Hate life Copy Share Image
The only thing I like about libraries is that people are encouraged to shut up. — Nikhil Saluja Libraries Copy Share Image
You have boobs. I like boobs. I'm talking to you in an attempt to touch your boobs - Me getting to the… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I have come to the conclusion that politics is too serious a matter to be left to the politicians. — Nikhil Saluja Politicians Copy Share Image
Damn baby, are you free Wi-Fi? 'Cause I want to log into your hotspot. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I mention someone, get no replyback, and I'm left feeling like an idiot. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
Facebook is our past. Twitter is our present. Unemployment is our future. — Nikhil Saluja Time Copy Share Image
Forgiveness isn't something we do for other people. We do it for ourselves to get well and move on. — Nikhil Saluja Forgiveness Copy Share Image
I've realized something today. No matter how hard you try to plan your life, life has a plan for you all on… — Nikhil Saluja Destiny Copy Share Image
A wife is just an attachment men screw on the bed to get the housework done. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE, SUCCESSFUL, one in which the husband knows when to remember and a wife knows what to forget; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Relationships are a give and take; I 'give' you the dick and you 'take' your ass home before my wife gets here. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I hate when there's no more toilet paper and I have to bother the person in the next stall to help wipe… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
My penis is like a gun, when I set it to 'semi' the pussy cums 'automatic'. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Maturity is the willingness to pass up immediate pleasure in favor of the long-term gain. — Nikhil Saluja Aging Copy Share Image
HUSBAND, GOOD, A man who feels in his pockets every time he passes a mailbox — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Maybe there won't be stars, maybe there won't be retweets, but by God there'll be slying! — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
If your house is haunted think about how much time the ghosts have spent watching you masturbate. — Nikhil Saluja Ghosts Copy Share Image
Everytime I find a dead body, I wish it was a pizza. Every time. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
DEFENCE: What you'd better have around de yard if you're going to let de children play outside. — Nikhil Saluja Alcohol Copy Share Image
Doctor, Doctor I've got bad teeth, foul breath and smelly feet. Sounds like you've got Foot and Mouth disease! — Nikhil Saluja Medicine Copy Share Image
WATERBED, A device that may help a marriage -- then again, the couple may drift apart — Nikhil Saluja Couple Copy Share Image
If you stare at someones tits long enough, you'll hear her saying Hey. Look up My face is above — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Life is similar to a Boxing match. Defeat is NOT declared when you fall down- It is declared when you refuse to… — Nikhil Saluja Boxing Copy Share Image
I think it's so rude when I fart in public and not a single person is polite enough to tell me, God… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Domestic violence is what I do to my toilet after eating Taco Bell. — Nikhil Saluja Domestic violence Copy Share Image
Never cry for something you don't have... Let the others cry because they don't have you.! — Nikhil Saluja Tears Copy Share Image
I hate it when it's a 'PICTURE PERFECT MOMENT' and you don't have a camera. — Nikhil Saluja Camera Copy Share Image
Going to McDonald's for a salad is like going to a whore for a hug. — Nikhil Saluja Funny Copy Share Image
If you stare at someone long enough, you'll hear him saying WTF are you looking at? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Congratulations, you have officially earned the Dumber than a Box of Rocks Award. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
